Waiting...

Well it has been a while since I have blogged but there has not been anything to update about the IVF/PGD at present... 

A couple of months have passed now since we have given our DNA to CARE Fertility and I have had a tough time keeping myself busy whilst waiting. At first I wanted to wish this time away so that I could just hurry up and get on with the IVF treatment but I have come to realise that I have had a lot of growing to do and in this short space of time I have already changed so much.

After finding out about the Huntington's gene last year I felt that I had lost part of myself, the care-free, innocent part of me had been put to sleep that day. My direction had suddenly changed in life, some things didn't feel so important anymore and other things felt more important than ever. However I feel that slowly I am beginning to find myself again.

One thing that has really changed me is becoming a Christian. It has completely turned my whole life around. The continuous hole that I felt I needed to keep filling has gone. God has helped me to let go of many things and begin to heal from within. I have also met some amazing people through my faith who have supported me, inspired me and have given me hope. God has renewed me. His light has illuminated every dark corner of my life. 

Waiting has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life... I am not a very patient person to say the least! I think though that this has been the best life lesson that I have learnt yet. Patience means to bear with and accept anything that is thrown your way. Knowing this now I feel that I am able to yield to patience more than I ever did before. I am learning to become more flexible and submissive to the future. 

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me...." ~ Jesus. 

       

Change...

 We must become the change we want to see.   

- Gandhi, Mahatma

As I turned over my Inspirations calender for August a new quote lay before my eyes, "We must become the change we want to see". I was astonished at how such a simple short sentence had caught so much brilliance in it. I began to think how this sentence would apply to me..

My life has already changed so much in such a short period of time.  I have grown and grown in closeness with the Lord and He has blessed us greatly. My husband is loving his job and is growing himself every day, he has a purpose now.

My own purpose is being built, my first purpose is to God and my husband but now, this very moment, my desired purpose is developing and expanding. At this very moment scientists are looking at our DNA, musing and puzzling over all the complicated things required to build our genetic test for the embryos. 

Yet as all this is happening I must become the change I want to see.. I must find strength and look to the wonderful end result of this daunting process. I will find strength and my strength will be from the Lord, from my rock...He will give me the strength I need...

Next stage..

Today we had our phone call from Genesis Genetics in America. We had to give over our family history and discuss the genetic testing procedure. They are going to send out cheek swabs for us within the next couple of days in order to have our DNA. This will be from me, Jay and my mother. My father already has stored DNA which will be used. 

Once the cheek swabs have been received by Genesis Genetics they will begin to build a PGD test for us this may take up to 16 weeks. However we were told that the average PGD test takes about 12 weeks. After they have finished we can then begin IVF treatment.  

So the IVF may not begin until about October. In the meantime I am going to continue trying to build myself up in strength and keep myself busy also! 

Genesis Genetics..

We had an email today from Genesis Genetics requesting a conference call to go over the PGD process and get some family background information. 

Genesis Genetics liaison with Nottingham CARE Fertility in order to build my PGD test. They are based in America therefore they have to telephone us to get all the necessary information. 

This telephone call is the next important stage towards the procedure and will determine how quickly things move forward. So they have given us a date and time, Wednesday 24th July at 4.00pm and we have confirmed it. Getting super excited now!!! 

Beautiful picture...

IVF/PGD Form..

Today I received in the mail our IVF/PGD Form for Intention to proceed with Treatment. I have signed on the dotted line... No going back now!! 

I have mixed feelings surrounding the whole thing at the moment. Part of me is so excited and cannot wait to proceed with everything but the other part of me is really afraid, vulnerable and nervous as the reality of it all has really set in place now. 

I know its completely normal to feel this way. I am going to be putting my body through something that isn't particularly nice but I just have to keep focusing on the end result. The reason I am doing this is to get rid of the Huntington's disease from my family line and to have a baby, free from the HD and with it's whole life ahead of it. 

I am so lucky to have the constant support of my husband and my mum and I know they will be there for me every step of the way..But this journey really feels like I am on my own in it and I know it will test me in every possible way I could think of. Emotionally, physically and my faith will all be tested. Fear is one of the greatest evils that humans have to face and I know that I will be looking straight at it! 

So I just need to keep my mind focused on the baby at the end..<3

Lord,
Help me to keep focused on the end result. Help me to stay strong and not allow fear to whisper doubts into my mind. I will keep you in my thoughts constantly..

In the Name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.  

First day of Work..

Well today I saw Jay head off for his first day of work!! He was very nervous but very excited all at the same time!

We got up early at 7.15am and he put on his smart clothes. He had breakfast while I made his pack up lunch. Then he went out the door, got in his car, gave me a massive grin and drove off. 

I am SO proud of him and so happy for him! It has been a long hard road for him and not having a job has weighed upon him in so many ways. It has been a burden upon his back and it made him feel unworthy of anything. 

Only a few weeks ago I posted a prayer request online and had lots of response. Many people have been praying for Jay, including myself, to get a job and 3 weeks later he has one! God has blessed us and I thank Him with all my heart for the joy He has given my husband <3 

Thank you Lord..and thank you to everyone who has prayed for us and who has supported us <3