A couple of months have passed now since we have given our DNA to CARE Fertility and I have had a tough time keeping myself busy whilst waiting. At first I wanted to wish this time away so that I could just hurry up and get on with the IVF treatment but I have come to realise that I have had a lot of growing to do and in this short space of time I have already changed so much.
After finding out about the Huntington's gene last year I felt that I had lost part of myself, the care-free, innocent part of me had been put to sleep that day. My direction had suddenly changed in life, some things didn't feel so important anymore and other things felt more important than ever. However I feel that slowly I am beginning to find myself again.
One thing that has really changed me is becoming a Christian. It has completely turned my whole life around. The continuous hole that I felt I needed to keep filling has gone. God has helped me to let go of many things and begin to heal from within. I have also met some amazing people through my faith who have supported me, inspired me and have given me hope. God has renewed me. His light has illuminated every dark corner of my life.
Waiting has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life... I am not a very patient person to say the least! I think though that this has been the best life lesson that I have learnt yet. Patience means to bear with and accept anything that is thrown your way. Knowing this now I feel that I am able to yield to patience more than I ever did before. I am learning to become more flexible and submissive to the future.
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me...." ~ Jesus.
