Sadly today as we woke up to do the pregnancy test it came back as a definite negative. We used the Clearblue digital test as well as an ordinary pregnancy test. It seems that between Friday and now something obviously went wrong with the embryo, the most likely cause is a chemical pregnancy.
We rang up CARE Fertility and after speaking to the doctor he felt that it was necessary to have a pregnancy blood test just to be absolutely certain as I had had a positive. So I went to my doctors and have had a blood test however the results will not be given back today. If the results come back as negative (which they are likely too) we will stop all treatment and have a 2 month break before starting a second cycle of IVF treatment.
Will update as soon as I get the blood test results...
Friday 28 February 2014
Tuesday 25 February 2014
Difficult times...
Today has been one of the most difficult days yet... I didn't write a blog about it but on Friday we did an early sneaky pregnancy test and we got a faint but visible line which meant that we were pregnant. I tried so hard to contain my excitement and struggled to calm myself down. Both of us were so happy and felt so blessed.
Today was the day for the pregnancy test from CARE Fertility and I felt surprisingly calm about it. We woke up at 6.00am and as we began to put the drops on the test I could feel my stomach whirling around and around. We turned away and didn't dare look until the 3 minutes had passed. Jay looked first but there was no happy reaction, I looked over his shoulder and to me there was only one line. I felt as though the whole world had come tumbling down on my head. I couldn't help but cry and nothing anyone said could console me.
However after a few minutes Jay then said 'Look there is another line but it is really faint'. I didn't dare believe it, you could barely see the line, not like the other test we did on Friday. Jay went out to buy another pregnancy test and the same thing happened. So I rang up CARE Fertility to explain everything. The nurse said that having a line there at all indicates a pregnancy but I can't understand why my line is fainter not stronger. She said that all we can do now is wait and do another test on Friday morning. I have not had any bleeding yet only a few cramps so all I can do is wait...
I did read however that it is quite common to have a chemical pregnancy which is a very early miscarriage. Some women test and get a positive pregnancy test and then have only negative ones as the HCG levels drop. It is usually followed by a period like bleed so I just have to wait and see...
I don't quite know how I feel at the moment. One minute I feel as though I am bearing up and that I will get through this, next I feel so empty and weary and the tears begin again. Seeing Jay's face this morning was really hard, he looked so full of despair and was so eager to try and comfort me. I know it must be even harder for him and that he must feel completely helpless.
You never feel quite the same again after all this. It has certainly changed me, this tiny embryo to me has been like a little person and the thought of having lost it makes me feel sick... I know that God has been with us throughout all this journey and is still with us now. Even though I am despairing today I still do have a small amount of hope left for tomorrow and the next day... I trust in God and submit it all to Him...
I thank you all again for your prayers and support and please do continue to pray for us <3
Today was the day for the pregnancy test from CARE Fertility and I felt surprisingly calm about it. We woke up at 6.00am and as we began to put the drops on the test I could feel my stomach whirling around and around. We turned away and didn't dare look until the 3 minutes had passed. Jay looked first but there was no happy reaction, I looked over his shoulder and to me there was only one line. I felt as though the whole world had come tumbling down on my head. I couldn't help but cry and nothing anyone said could console me.
However after a few minutes Jay then said 'Look there is another line but it is really faint'. I didn't dare believe it, you could barely see the line, not like the other test we did on Friday. Jay went out to buy another pregnancy test and the same thing happened. So I rang up CARE Fertility to explain everything. The nurse said that having a line there at all indicates a pregnancy but I can't understand why my line is fainter not stronger. She said that all we can do now is wait and do another test on Friday morning. I have not had any bleeding yet only a few cramps so all I can do is wait...
I did read however that it is quite common to have a chemical pregnancy which is a very early miscarriage. Some women test and get a positive pregnancy test and then have only negative ones as the HCG levels drop. It is usually followed by a period like bleed so I just have to wait and see...
I don't quite know how I feel at the moment. One minute I feel as though I am bearing up and that I will get through this, next I feel so empty and weary and the tears begin again. Seeing Jay's face this morning was really hard, he looked so full of despair and was so eager to try and comfort me. I know it must be even harder for him and that he must feel completely helpless.
You never feel quite the same again after all this. It has certainly changed me, this tiny embryo to me has been like a little person and the thought of having lost it makes me feel sick... I know that God has been with us throughout all this journey and is still with us now. Even though I am despairing today I still do have a small amount of hope left for tomorrow and the next day... I trust in God and submit it all to Him...
I thank you all again for your prayers and support and please do continue to pray for us <3
Monday 24 February 2014
Waiting...
Tomorrow is the day for our pregnancy test! It has been a long 2 weeks and there has been times that I have felt so weary of waiting but God has been my rock and reminded me of all the blessings I already have... Jay has been so supportive and full of patience and together we have muddled our way through these 2 weeks.
I have so many butterflies fluttering around my stomach at the moment and I have no idea how I am going to sleep tonight!
I want to thank all the people who have supported us and thank you for all your prayers <3 Please continue to pray for us tonight and for our little embryo <3
I have so many butterflies fluttering around my stomach at the moment and I have no idea how I am going to sleep tonight!
I want to thank all the people who have supported us and thank you for all your prayers <3 Please continue to pray for us tonight and for our little embryo <3
Psalm 130:5-6"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning"...
Wednesday 12 February 2014
Embryo Transfer...
This afternoon we arrived at Nottingham for the embryo transfer! We had a little bit of a wait as there was another person in front of us. I had to put a gown on and Jay even got to wear some scrubs in a nice pink colour! I was taken down to theatre and was introduced to all the team. The embryologist came over to explain how the embryo was and even gave us a photo of our little egg!
The procedure was a little more difficult than I expected! Unfortunately the catheter inserted into me got stuck in the kink in my cervix (which apparently is very prominent) so the nurse had a bit of a struggle and it ended up being quite painful. However eventually she got past that bit and suddenly we watched on the ultrasound screen our little egg float out of the catheter. It feels strange to think that that little egg is inside me now...
After the procedure we were given our own pregnancy test kit and were told that we are going to test on Tuesday 25th February! 13 days to wait... How very blessed we both are <3
The procedure was a little more difficult than I expected! Unfortunately the catheter inserted into me got stuck in the kink in my cervix (which apparently is very prominent) so the nurse had a bit of a struggle and it ended up being quite painful. However eventually she got past that bit and suddenly we watched on the ultrasound screen our little egg float out of the catheter. It feels strange to think that that little egg is inside me now...
After the procedure we were given our own pregnancy test kit and were told that we are going to test on Tuesday 25th February! 13 days to wait... How very blessed we both are <3
WE HAVE FANTASTIC NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our little egg is HD free!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for all the prayers and support! The Lord has blessed us with this beautiful little egg <3
Off to my embryo transfer now!!!
Monday 10 February 2014
Biopsy...
Just had a phone call this morning from the embryologist and there is only one embryo left now... Only one could have a biopsy taken from it...One embryo, one chance 50/50...Oh please Lord let it be free from HD...Please pray and pray and pray and pray for our one little embryo...Please lift up your voices in prayer...
Sunday 9 February 2014
Feeling better and had some good news!
Today I am feeling much better! I had a good full night's sleep last night and my mum and Jay have been looking after me all weekend. I have gradually built up eating some food during the day and have taken a very short but steady walk to get some fresh air.
We also had a phone call today from the embryologist who has told us that both the 2 embryos have grown and that they are grade 2 which apparently is a really good thing! Tomorrow we will have another phone call around lunchtime to let us know how the embryos grown overnight and also whether the biopsy was performed (which they are hoping will be). So tomorrow is the big day for these little eggs- Will they have the Huntington's gene or not? I am praying and trusting in the Lord. We have already come on a long journey from May last year and every second of it has been worth it (even when I was feeling terrible haha!)
I also want to thank everyone who has been so supportive to us. The love that people have given us has been overwhelming and all these people have been with us every step of our journey. How blessed we are to be surrounded by such warm-hearted and loving people <3
We also had a phone call today from the embryologist who has told us that both the 2 embryos have grown and that they are grade 2 which apparently is a really good thing! Tomorrow we will have another phone call around lunchtime to let us know how the embryos grown overnight and also whether the biopsy was performed (which they are hoping will be). So tomorrow is the big day for these little eggs- Will they have the Huntington's gene or not? I am praying and trusting in the Lord. We have already come on a long journey from May last year and every second of it has been worth it (even when I was feeling terrible haha!)
I also want to thank everyone who has been so supportive to us. The love that people have given us has been overwhelming and all these people have been with us every step of our journey. How blessed we are to be surrounded by such warm-hearted and loving people <3
Saturday 8 February 2014
Please pray for us...
Post egg collection has not been great! Looks like I spoke far too soon yesterday as at 8.30pm last night I was sick. I slept until 2.00am in the morning and woke up and was sick again 3 more times. It was a really difficult night and this morning I am completely worn out... I am still feeling really strange this morning and will not be eating much today only drinking water. I rang up CARE Fertility and it may well be due to all the drugs I had yesterday.
We then had a phone call a little while after this from the embryologist. Out of the 6 eggs only 4 were mature enough to be fertilised and out of the 4 only 2 fertilised. I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed with myself as that now reduces the chances of whether one or both of those eggs will have HD. We will have another update tomorrow morning on how the eggs are growing and on Monday they will be tested for HD.
Really struggling at the moment and in a low state of mind...Please pray for those 2 eggs..Pray they grow strong and big and most importantly please pray for one to be free from HD...
I keep trusting in God and know that all this is not for nothing...everything happens for reason...
We then had a phone call a little while after this from the embryologist. Out of the 6 eggs only 4 were mature enough to be fertilised and out of the 4 only 2 fertilised. I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed with myself as that now reduces the chances of whether one or both of those eggs will have HD. We will have another update tomorrow morning on how the eggs are growing and on Monday they will be tested for HD.
Really struggling at the moment and in a low state of mind...Please pray for those 2 eggs..Pray they grow strong and big and most importantly please pray for one to be free from HD...
I keep trusting in God and know that all this is not for nothing...everything happens for reason...
Friday 7 February 2014
Egg Collection...
Today was the day of my egg collection!!! Yesterday Jay and I travelled up to Nottingham to stay in a hotel overnight as I had to be at CARE Fertility for 7.30am. We arrived at CARE at 7.20am and nervously took our seats in the empty waiting room. At nearly 8.00am we were called into a ward area in the clinic and were given a room in which I had to get changed and put a hospital gown on and lots of questions were asked before they proceeded. Jay was sent off to do his sperm sample while I was taken down to theatre.
An anesthetist inserted a cannula into the back of my hand and although I was only being sedated, next thing I knew I was fast asleep! I was woke up by a nurse who was taking my blood pressure. I had totally slept throughout the whole thing! Jay was called to the room and I was left to rest for a while until the nurse felt happy for me to get up and get changed.
We then had a visit from the embryologist who explained what is going to happen next. 6 eggs were collected which is a good number (I wish it had been more but we did well) and those eggs will be fertilised this afternoon. We will get regular updates every day on how the eggs are doing but then the big thing is on day 3 when the eggs which are grown enough will be tested for Huntington's disease...Now is the wait... I feel more nervous about this part than any other...
An anesthetist inserted a cannula into the back of my hand and although I was only being sedated, next thing I knew I was fast asleep! I was woke up by a nurse who was taking my blood pressure. I had totally slept throughout the whole thing! Jay was called to the room and I was left to rest for a while until the nurse felt happy for me to get up and get changed.
We then had a visit from the embryologist who explained what is going to happen next. 6 eggs were collected which is a good number (I wish it had been more but we did well) and those eggs will be fertilised this afternoon. We will get regular updates every day on how the eggs are doing but then the big thing is on day 3 when the eggs which are grown enough will be tested for Huntington's disease...Now is the wait... I feel more nervous about this part than any other...
Tuesday 4 February 2014
Scan number six and REALLY GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!
Today we went for scan number six and finally we had the news we wanted to hear! :) My egg follicles are looking much better sizes now and my biggest one is 25.5mm. So the clinic has decided that I will have one more night of Menopur and Cetrotide just to grow them a little bit bigger and then tomorrow I will have my Pregnyl trigger injection which will stimulate the final maturation of the egg. On Friday I will have my egg collection!!! So all those eggs that I have been growing in the past 2 weeks are going to be collected up to be fertilised with Jay's sperm sample (which he will give on Friday). So now we are both going to get some rest ready for Friday!
Monday 3 February 2014
Scan number five...
Today we arrived at Nottingham for scan number five! Today is Day 14 so I have been stimulating for 2 weeks! Had high hopes for today but as the nurse reeled off the sizes of my follicles at my scan I knew that we hadn't finished yet. I had a 24mm, 18mm, 15mm, 13mm but the others were only 9 or 10mms.
So after my scan, the nurse had been to talk to Dr Maruthini, and she explained that we needed to do another night of Menopur and Cetrotide injections and another scan tomorrow. Everything will depend on tomorrow's scan...
Scan is booked for tomorrow morning at 9.30am. Both of us are starting to feel really really weary and tired now... Please keep us in your prayers <3
So after my scan, the nurse had been to talk to Dr Maruthini, and she explained that we needed to do another night of Menopur and Cetrotide injections and another scan tomorrow. Everything will depend on tomorrow's scan...
Scan is booked for tomorrow morning at 9.30am. Both of us are starting to feel really really weary and tired now... Please keep us in your prayers <3
Saturday 1 February 2014
Fourth Scan...
Today we finally got to our fourth scan! We left extremely early this morning and arrived at Nottingham at 9.20am safely!
We had a little bit of a wait as there was quite a lot of couples in the waiting room today but the main thing was that we were there. At 10.30am they called me for a scan, egg follicles are growing nicely but still not quite there yet. One of my follicles is at 19mm and on average the follicles need to be 18mm for egg collection so I am nearly there! Then I had my blood taken and was given another prescription for Menopur to collect at the Pharmacy.
This afternoon I had my usual phone call to explain the results from my scan. They still would like me to continue the Menopur and Cetrotide tonight and tomorrow night and then I have another scan booked for Monday at 10.30am.
We had a little bit of a wait as there was quite a lot of couples in the waiting room today but the main thing was that we were there. At 10.30am they called me for a scan, egg follicles are growing nicely but still not quite there yet. One of my follicles is at 19mm and on average the follicles need to be 18mm for egg collection so I am nearly there! Then I had my blood taken and was given another prescription for Menopur to collect at the Pharmacy.
This afternoon I had my usual phone call to explain the results from my scan. They still would like me to continue the Menopur and Cetrotide tonight and tomorrow night and then I have another scan booked for Monday at 10.30am.
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