We had a letter this morning that read as follows:
'I am writing to you with the disappointing news that NHS England are unable to fund a further cycle for you. The funding policy only allows for 3 fresh cycles which you have recently completed'.
I was desperate for an answer of what to do.. it has been answered for me. We can no longer have anymore NHS IVF cycles.
This journey of IVF has ended and though it seems we have come out of it empty handed there has been so much I have learnt and so much that has opened my eyes up to the miracle of children. I feel no sadness at the end of this journey. God has delivered me from the greatest pressure I have ever been under. He knew I couldn't take no more...the pain had been too great. I feel relief as though a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders and His peace has filled me...
This season of my life has finished and that means that there is a new one rising on the horizon! I see it brightly shining and warm as the sun! I thank the Lord for His faithfulness throughout this toilsome and rough season we have just been through. He has never left me once and His work in our lives has been awesome!
Saturday 22 November 2014
Sunday 16 November 2014
Ache...
Baby dedications...full of such great joy yet how it awakens that ache, that longing within the heart... It comes upon me suddenly like a gasp of cold air. How ungrateful I feel when the pain fills my heart. I have so much to be thankful for and so much to feel blessed about.
Sometimes the pain is so overwhelming that it blinds and obscures my eyes so I cannot see beyond it. I sit there heavy and weighted by the paroxysm of sorrow and anguish...perhaps even bitterness which weeps from heart. My throat feels choked as I worship before the Lord. I want to sing and release my voice yet a constricting feeling closes my throat. I am as rigid and stiff as a soldier before the Lord hiding my imperfections.
If my heart's anguish was seen upon my face there would be endless tears, scars and blemishes. Worship is hard at times like this...
Saturday 8 November 2014
As time begins to pass...
After my other two cycles I never really wrote about the effects that the IVF leaves on your life once a cycle has failed. It's already nearly been a month since my egg collection.Though much of this month has been spent trying to recover from the physical effects that the IVF caused, time and time again I get little reminders of the emotional and mental effects of IVF.
Emotionally it has been a rollercoaster. I have gone from being shocked, angry, seriously depressed and guilty. Mentally I have suffered from anxiety and stress. The anxiety has been playing out quite a bit over this past week to the point where 3 times I have had bad nightmares. As I write this now I had a bad nightmare last night. I don't remember exactly what happened in the dream. I had the same old thing where when you wake up the dream feels so vivid but then it seems to quickly fade away leaving only the feeling that the dream contained. I know this dream was full of hospitals, doctors, needles, even antibiotics but what struck me most about it was I kept crying out for help from nurses and doctors and no one listened to me. It was as though chaos surrounded me, people rushing everywhere and noise and I just wanted someone to help me.
I woke up with a nasty feeling of unease.. it is strange that I have had 3 nightmares in one week. It's as though when I am asleep my mind is trying to process everything that happened. I feel perfectly fine on the surface and many emotions have passed and life has gone back to normal. Yet somewhere deep inside I know that pain lurks repressed and is leaking out in the form of nightmares and anxiety.
Time is passing by but much healing yet needs to take place...
Emotionally it has been a rollercoaster. I have gone from being shocked, angry, seriously depressed and guilty. Mentally I have suffered from anxiety and stress. The anxiety has been playing out quite a bit over this past week to the point where 3 times I have had bad nightmares. As I write this now I had a bad nightmare last night. I don't remember exactly what happened in the dream. I had the same old thing where when you wake up the dream feels so vivid but then it seems to quickly fade away leaving only the feeling that the dream contained. I know this dream was full of hospitals, doctors, needles, even antibiotics but what struck me most about it was I kept crying out for help from nurses and doctors and no one listened to me. It was as though chaos surrounded me, people rushing everywhere and noise and I just wanted someone to help me.
I woke up with a nasty feeling of unease.. it is strange that I have had 3 nightmares in one week. It's as though when I am asleep my mind is trying to process everything that happened. I feel perfectly fine on the surface and many emotions have passed and life has gone back to normal. Yet somewhere deep inside I know that pain lurks repressed and is leaking out in the form of nightmares and anxiety.
Time is passing by but much healing yet needs to take place...
Tuesday 28 October 2014
Recovery...
Recovery so far has been longer and harder than I anticipated. It has been 19 long days since my egg collection and in previous cycles I would be well and truly back on my feet by now. This has not been the case with this cycle however.
My period was due to arrive last week and the doctor expected me to be fully recovered after this had come and gone. I began to feel quite unwell on Monday last week, had a slight temperature, stomach ache, lost my appetite. My period arrived the next day and was extremely painful and heavy. This was to be expected and I spent most of the day on the sofa. I woke up on Wednesday feeling a little better but by lunchtime things suddenly turned. I started to feel quite nauseous and cold. Nothing seemed to work to make me feel better and by 2.00pm I started being sick. I was sick 3 times (just like I usually am after my egg collection and felt the same). My stomach was quite painful and I felt terrible.
So my mum got me an emergency appointment at the doctors. After seeing me she wasn't happy at all and referred me to the hospital. It was a long couple of days - after blood tests and an examination a scan was called for. However we ended up staying in a ward overnight.
The next morning I had a scan with the gynecologist and he said that I had a blood clot and bruising around the area which had bled during my egg collection. He said that it was very tender and most likely I had an infection which would explain why I felt so unwell. I was sent to another ward and eventually sent home with antibiotics for 5 days.
After 5 days I am still bleeding. I went back to the doctors yesterday for a follow up appointment. He found from my blood test results taken at the hospital I was showing an infection at the time so another 5 days of antibiotics was prescribed. My urine sample taken yesterday shown no infection now so it has probably gone.
I believe today I may well have passed the blood clot which was over the puncture wound so this could be a good step forward to recovery. However it is still a way off yet, I am still bleeding and won't finish the antibiotics till Saturday. I have booked another doctors appointment for Monday in hope for a referral back to the hospital for another transvaginal scan to check on the bruising and blood clot. Care Fertility did say this was advisable so I hope it can be done, even just for my own peace of mind!
It has been a testing 19 days to say the least and I certainly have had a lot of experiences and things to overcome but I will be glad for full health again and to be able to get back to doing some 'normal' things again!
My period was due to arrive last week and the doctor expected me to be fully recovered after this had come and gone. I began to feel quite unwell on Monday last week, had a slight temperature, stomach ache, lost my appetite. My period arrived the next day and was extremely painful and heavy. This was to be expected and I spent most of the day on the sofa. I woke up on Wednesday feeling a little better but by lunchtime things suddenly turned. I started to feel quite nauseous and cold. Nothing seemed to work to make me feel better and by 2.00pm I started being sick. I was sick 3 times (just like I usually am after my egg collection and felt the same). My stomach was quite painful and I felt terrible.
So my mum got me an emergency appointment at the doctors. After seeing me she wasn't happy at all and referred me to the hospital. It was a long couple of days - after blood tests and an examination a scan was called for. However we ended up staying in a ward overnight.
The next morning I had a scan with the gynecologist and he said that I had a blood clot and bruising around the area which had bled during my egg collection. He said that it was very tender and most likely I had an infection which would explain why I felt so unwell. I was sent to another ward and eventually sent home with antibiotics for 5 days.
After 5 days I am still bleeding. I went back to the doctors yesterday for a follow up appointment. He found from my blood test results taken at the hospital I was showing an infection at the time so another 5 days of antibiotics was prescribed. My urine sample taken yesterday shown no infection now so it has probably gone.
I believe today I may well have passed the blood clot which was over the puncture wound so this could be a good step forward to recovery. However it is still a way off yet, I am still bleeding and won't finish the antibiotics till Saturday. I have booked another doctors appointment for Monday in hope for a referral back to the hospital for another transvaginal scan to check on the bruising and blood clot. Care Fertility did say this was advisable so I hope it can be done, even just for my own peace of mind!
It has been a testing 19 days to say the least and I certainly have had a lot of experiences and things to overcome but I will be glad for full health again and to be able to get back to doing some 'normal' things again!
Saturday 18 October 2014
Numb...
I have awoken this morning to a new feeling or rather I should say no feeling at all - numbness. I feel as though my whole mind has switched off to any emotions of pain or sadness. It feels like I have swallowed toxic venom which has disabled all my senses.
My body feels heavy and my mind feels languid. I'm only capable of thinking of light things such as 'What do I want for breakfast?', if anything deeper attempts to penetrate my mind it becomes blank. No more tears could be cried.
Is this the beginning of healing? I do believe it is. My mind has been exposed to such pain that it has almost fallen into a deep coma. Just as when a person has a physical injury to their brain and the doctor will medically induce a coma in order to heal the wound. My mind rests in a sweet slumber devoid of any pain, sadness or hurt. I've been through the tumult of shock, denial, pain, guilt, anger and bargaining over these 4 days... Now I feel nothing...
Grief is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced and it seems to be a recurring theme in my life. I've been thrown into the dark deep pit of grief many times and it is not easy getting back out again. Yet my mind is becoming more resilient to it and I find it a much swifter walk through the valley of grief...
My body feels heavy and my mind feels languid. I'm only capable of thinking of light things such as 'What do I want for breakfast?', if anything deeper attempts to penetrate my mind it becomes blank. No more tears could be cried.
Is this the beginning of healing? I do believe it is. My mind has been exposed to such pain that it has almost fallen into a deep coma. Just as when a person has a physical injury to their brain and the doctor will medically induce a coma in order to heal the wound. My mind rests in a sweet slumber devoid of any pain, sadness or hurt. I've been through the tumult of shock, denial, pain, guilt, anger and bargaining over these 4 days... Now I feel nothing...
Grief is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced and it seems to be a recurring theme in my life. I've been thrown into the dark deep pit of grief many times and it is not easy getting back out again. Yet my mind is becoming more resilient to it and I find it a much swifter walk through the valley of grief...
Wednesday 15 October 2014
Surrounded by pain...
When I woke up this morning it took a few minutes for it all to register again. I thought I'd woken up from a bad nightmare and then I realised...there will be no baby. I've spent 7 weeks waking up anticipating and holding onto the hope of having a baby, dreaming of it and going to sleep holding my hope like a snuggle blanket close to my heart.
Now I sit here this morning and it's all gone. 7 weeks of taking just a little step closer to the biggest dream I've ever had. Every night I had an injection I told myself you are just one step closer, a little nearer than I was yesterday. Every scan we travelled to I grew in hope just as the little eggs were growing in me. We couldn't have felt more blessed when we had 8 eggs collected and then even more blessed because 7 fertilised and were embryos. Those 7 embryos seemed to be going strong even all of them went for a biopsy! We had no reason to believe that again we would be told the crushing news that none, not one of our little babies could be ours.
We have spent the whole year of 2014 travelling this road of IVF and most of 2013 preparing for it. In the 3 months in the run up to this third cycle we were going to the gym, eating healthily, Jay was on this special stuff called Proxeed to improve sperm quality. It was a break but still we subconsciously were always preparing for the third cycle. When we had a biochemical pregnancy in the first cycle I felt so full of pain but it just chipped away a small crack in my hope. Then the second cycle came and went and the crack got a lot bigger but by having a 3 month break some of it was glued back together. Now this third cycle has ended and it has all come tumbling down. My hope feels crushed and the pain feels insurmountable.
The pain keeps coming wave after wave and my heart feels like its going to break every time. I find respite in getting on with doing 'normal' things but out of nowhere another wave of pain washes over me. I can't put it in words to talk about it, the only way I can express myself is by writing it down. I cannot even pray to God because there are no words I can speak, it is only felt in my heart. Before I could pick myself up and dust myself off looking for the positives in it all but now I struggle... I feel dizzy with grief, dizzy with loss. Loss after loss after loss. 30 embryos, 30 babies have been made this year and not one has survived... The doctors give me numbers and statistics and percentages and tell me it's a bad batch of eggs. Some people say 'Oh it was bad luck'. Nothing happens by chance or luck. I don't know why all this has happened but I do still know, amidst all the pain, that none this is about luck or even numbers and statistics its about the plan God has for me and though my hope may be crushed at the moment God still holds a flickering light in front of me...
Now I sit here this morning and it's all gone. 7 weeks of taking just a little step closer to the biggest dream I've ever had. Every night I had an injection I told myself you are just one step closer, a little nearer than I was yesterday. Every scan we travelled to I grew in hope just as the little eggs were growing in me. We couldn't have felt more blessed when we had 8 eggs collected and then even more blessed because 7 fertilised and were embryos. Those 7 embryos seemed to be going strong even all of them went for a biopsy! We had no reason to believe that again we would be told the crushing news that none, not one of our little babies could be ours.
We have spent the whole year of 2014 travelling this road of IVF and most of 2013 preparing for it. In the 3 months in the run up to this third cycle we were going to the gym, eating healthily, Jay was on this special stuff called Proxeed to improve sperm quality. It was a break but still we subconsciously were always preparing for the third cycle. When we had a biochemical pregnancy in the first cycle I felt so full of pain but it just chipped away a small crack in my hope. Then the second cycle came and went and the crack got a lot bigger but by having a 3 month break some of it was glued back together. Now this third cycle has ended and it has all come tumbling down. My hope feels crushed and the pain feels insurmountable.
The pain keeps coming wave after wave and my heart feels like its going to break every time. I find respite in getting on with doing 'normal' things but out of nowhere another wave of pain washes over me. I can't put it in words to talk about it, the only way I can express myself is by writing it down. I cannot even pray to God because there are no words I can speak, it is only felt in my heart. Before I could pick myself up and dust myself off looking for the positives in it all but now I struggle... I feel dizzy with grief, dizzy with loss. Loss after loss after loss. 30 embryos, 30 babies have been made this year and not one has survived... The doctors give me numbers and statistics and percentages and tell me it's a bad batch of eggs. Some people say 'Oh it was bad luck'. Nothing happens by chance or luck. I don't know why all this has happened but I do still know, amidst all the pain, that none this is about luck or even numbers and statistics its about the plan God has for me and though my hope may be crushed at the moment God still holds a flickering light in front of me...
Tuesday 14 October 2014
Results and more pain...
We received the results this morning. 5 embryos had HD and the other 2 embryos came back inconclusive which means they weren't sure whether they did or didn't. Those 2 embryos had also stopped growing after biopsy so there won't be any hope of re-biopsying them.
To say I am devastated is an understatement. My heart feels like it has suffered so much pain...We have had in total 30 embryos created in one year and all have died or been affected by HD. The whole reason why we did the IVF was to remove a pain so I thought and now it has given me an even greater pain...
I don't know what I'm going to do or where we will go from here. I'm just thankful I have Jay who is always such an amazing support...
To say I am devastated is an understatement. My heart feels like it has suffered so much pain...We have had in total 30 embryos created in one year and all have died or been affected by HD. The whole reason why we did the IVF was to remove a pain so I thought and now it has given me an even greater pain...
I don't know what I'm going to do or where we will go from here. I'm just thankful I have Jay who is always such an amazing support...
Sunday 12 October 2014
Biopsy...
Today we had the phone call from the embryologist to tell us how the biopsy went. 7 embryos were tested!! I am so amazed that all 7 have made it to the testing!!! Praise the Lord!!
We will have another phone call tomorrow telling us how the embryos have grown overnight and what the plans for transfer will be for Tuesday. Please keep the 7 embryos in your prayers!
We will have another phone call tomorrow telling us how the embryos have grown overnight and what the plans for transfer will be for Tuesday. Please keep the 7 embryos in your prayers!
Saturday 11 October 2014
Pessaries and more embryo news...
Today at 8.00am I had my first Utrogestan pessary which can help reduce the risk of a miscarriage. This will be taken twice a day 12 hours apart.
I have unfortunately come out in a full blown cold since my egg collection so am not feeling the best at the moment! I'm hoping I will recover from this as quickly as possible.
At 9.30am we had a phone call from the embryologist who told us that 6 of our 7 embryos have divided and been graded as excellent. The 7th embryo has not yet divided but might well later on. So we have 6 little babies still growing strong. Please pray for health and strength for all the embryos.
I have unfortunately come out in a full blown cold since my egg collection so am not feeling the best at the moment! I'm hoping I will recover from this as quickly as possible.
At 9.30am we had a phone call from the embryologist who told us that 6 of our 7 embryos have divided and been graded as excellent. The 7th embryo has not yet divided but might well later on. So we have 6 little babies still growing strong. Please pray for health and strength for all the embryos.
Thursday 9 October 2014
Egg Collection...
Off we went today at 6.00am for our egg collection! We woke up at 5.30am and got on the road. Arrived at Nottingham at 7.25am with 5 minutes to go! Today there was a great sense of peace resting on me (must be all them prayers!)
So after an extremely eventful day I am now under strict orders for complete rest and we will have regular phone calls daily to update us on the progress. Tomorrow we will know how many eggs fertilised. Keep our little babies in your prayers!
We were called in to prepare for theatre and I felt perfectly calm. I dressed in my gown, fluffy socks and clogs. Filled in the form and had my blood pressure taken. I also asked for an anti-sickness drug this time that I hope will work!
The anesthetist came in and spoke with us double-checking everything. Then before I knew where I was a nurse came to fetch me for theatre. So I walked down, what always seems like, a very long corridor to the room! I laid on the bed and the anesthetist began tapping my hand for my cannula. He attempted to insert the cannula but unfortunately my veins were too small so he tried the other hand. The cannula finally went in and before I knew it the drugs had been administered and I was out.
This time however I did not wake up in the recovery room but began feeling a lot pain. I was vaguely aware of it until gradually I became more and more conscious of this horrific pain. I had woken up in theatre! Within a few more minutes I was wheeled into the recovery room and the nurse started to explain what had happened. Unfortunately I had bled and it was gushing so the Doctor was going to put stitches in. However he decided instead to put a pack inside and that explained why I felt such immense pressure down below.
I was wheeled into the next room and they fetched Jason. Upon arriving the nurse told us that we have 8 eggs collected. Then the nurse said I had to remain lying down until the Doctor was ready to remove the pack. I was lying on the bed for 2 hours and the pack felt extremely uncomfortable. Though it was doing it's job!
By 11am the doctor came back to remove the pack which was painful but then the pressure was released. I had to remain lying down for another half hour and then the nurse helped me to get up. I was checked several times that I had stopped bleeding and finally given the go ahead to get back home.
We eventually got on the road at 1.00pm ish and got home at nearly 2.00pm. By this time I was feeling extremely queasy and nauseous as I had gone with only a ginger biscuit and a cracker for all that time. So my dinner was a plate of oven chips which really made me feel better! I still have to be careful with my stomach so plain food is the best.
So after an extremely eventful day I am now under strict orders for complete rest and we will have regular phone calls daily to update us on the progress. Tomorrow we will know how many eggs fertilised. Keep our little babies in your prayers!
Tuesday 7 October 2014
Last injections and time of egg collection...
Just had a phone call this afternoon from the nurse at Nottingham with all the details for the next step! Tonight I will have my final Buserelin injection at an earlier time of 5.00pm to leave a nice gap for the HCG trigger injection. My HCG trigger injection will be at 8.00pm which will mature the eggs ready for collection.
My egg collection is scheduled for 8.00am on Thursday 9th October. We have to be at Nottingham for 7.30am (lovely early start!) I'm first on the list (same as in my first cycle) so I'll get it out the way with!
My egg collection is scheduled for 8.00am on Thursday 9th October. We have to be at Nottingham for 7.30am (lovely early start!) I'm first on the list (same as in my first cycle) so I'll get it out the way with!
Monday 6 October 2014
Fourth scan...
Off we went this morning for our fourth scan on this wet and grey day! On the journey there I was extremely uncomfortable with pain in my right ovary and unfortunately hadn't packed any paracetamol!
We pressed on though to arrive on time and waited for the scan! Finally we have been given the go ahead for egg collection (EC)! Sizes are really good ranging from 11mm (the smallest) - 21mm (the biggest) and we discovered why my right ovary is so painful. I have 3 large egg follicles, 21mm, 20.5mm and 18.5mm!
So the plan of action is one more night of Menopur tonight just to give an extra boost of growth. Then tomorrow will be my trigger injection of Pregnl and I have to continue the Buserelin that night also but stop the Menopur. Then 36 hours from my trigger injection will my EC be scheduled (I will find out all the times tomorrow). On Wednesday I won't have any drugs to take so I will get a nice little break before my EC.
So EC is Thursday and I am ready to go! Its 6 weeks since I started this third round of IVF and am really looking forward to getting this big procedure out the way with.
We pressed on though to arrive on time and waited for the scan! Finally we have been given the go ahead for egg collection (EC)! Sizes are really good ranging from 11mm (the smallest) - 21mm (the biggest) and we discovered why my right ovary is so painful. I have 3 large egg follicles, 21mm, 20.5mm and 18.5mm!
So the plan of action is one more night of Menopur tonight just to give an extra boost of growth. Then tomorrow will be my trigger injection of Pregnl and I have to continue the Buserelin that night also but stop the Menopur. Then 36 hours from my trigger injection will my EC be scheduled (I will find out all the times tomorrow). On Wednesday I won't have any drugs to take so I will get a nice little break before my EC.
So EC is Thursday and I am ready to go! Its 6 weeks since I started this third round of IVF and am really looking forward to getting this big procedure out the way with.
Friday 3 October 2014
Third Scan...
Today we went for our third scan at Nottingham. After two nights of 300IU of Menopur I thought perhaps this would be the last scan and had been psyching myself up for the egg collection. So after looking at my ovaries on my left ovary I have 11 follicles ranging from 9mm the smallest to 13mm the biggest and on my right ovary I have less follicles but bigger ones at 16mm. I was feeling a little disappointed when I left because I was convinced that today would be my last scan. However it is only day 11 since I started the Menopur and on my previous two cycles it took me 16 days on the first cycle and 14 days on the second cycle.
So another scan was booked for Monday at 10.30am and I will continue taking 300IU of Menopur over the weekend. I am thankful for the all the eggs I have, I just began to feel a bit weary. Then I came across this Bible verse in the book I'm reading:
'And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint' ~Galatians 6:9
This has greatly strengthened me and the love and support from friends and family has been amazing!
So another scan was booked for Monday at 10.30am and I will continue taking 300IU of Menopur over the weekend. I am thankful for the all the eggs I have, I just began to feel a bit weary. Then I came across this Bible verse in the book I'm reading:
'And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint' ~Galatians 6:9
This has greatly strengthened me and the love and support from friends and family has been amazing!
Wednesday 1 October 2014
Second scan...
Today was our second scan at Nottingham. Things are moving along well, sizes are now between 7mm-15mm. The nurse has counted 16 eggs again! So it's going to be a big batch.
A third scan has been booked for Friday at 10.30am and my Menopur has been increased to 300IU (4 vials). So it definately looks like egg collection will be next week!
A third scan has been booked for Friday at 10.30am and my Menopur has been increased to 300IU (4 vials). So it definately looks like egg collection will be next week!
Monday 29 September 2014
First scan...
Today we went for our first scan since starting the Menopur. I was completely surprised by the results of the scan. I have been taking 150IU of Menopur and tonight is day 7. In the first cycle when I was on the lower dosages of Menopur the egg follicles were between 4mm- 5mm. This was what I expected to see today and was blown away when the nurse read out 6mm, 7mm, 9mm, 10.5mm! I had roughly 8 or 9 egg follicles of larger sizes and plenty of smaller ones that could be available too. I then had a blood test to check my hormone levels.
This afternoon I received a phone call from the nurse with the next step. My Menopur is now being increased to 225IU from tonight and my next scan is on Wednesday at 10.30am. So it looks like I'll be having my egg collection a lot sooner than I thought!
So far I have had 35 injections and one blood test! After tonight's injections that will be 37!
This afternoon I received a phone call from the nurse with the next step. My Menopur is now being increased to 225IU from tonight and my next scan is on Wednesday at 10.30am. So it looks like I'll be having my egg collection a lot sooner than I thought!
So far I have had 35 injections and one blood test! After tonight's injections that will be 37!
Saturday 27 September 2014
A bit of a struggle...
Since starting the IVF I have sailed through the first 3 weeks without many problems as such. I am about half-way through the IVF now and in the past couple of days have hit a mid-cycle low. Since starting the Menopur on Tuesday I haven't felt that brilliant, my body has felt all over the place. I have felt quite tired and have had various other symptoms but I just carried on thinking perhaps I needed to give it a few days to settle.
However yesterday I come down feeling quite unwell. I had a temperature, chills, headache and generally feeling unwell. So I rang CARE Fertility last night and she said perhaps I need to have a rest this weekend, take paracetamol and drink plenty of water. So started taking paracetamol and took it easy a bit.
When I woke up today I did feel a bit better and the nurse rang to check up on me. She suggested perhaps I have caught a virus so I must continue taking paracetamol. Later on I came down feeling ill again and sneezed! So perhaps she is right! My scan is on Monday so they will check things out further then. In the meantime I am doing nothing!
However yesterday I come down feeling quite unwell. I had a temperature, chills, headache and generally feeling unwell. So I rang CARE Fertility last night and she said perhaps I need to have a rest this weekend, take paracetamol and drink plenty of water. So started taking paracetamol and took it easy a bit.
When I woke up today I did feel a bit better and the nurse rang to check up on me. She suggested perhaps I have caught a virus so I must continue taking paracetamol. Later on I came down feeling ill again and sneezed! So perhaps she is right! My scan is on Monday so they will check things out further then. In the meantime I am doing nothing!
Wednesday 24 September 2014
We're going on a baby hunt!
When I was a little girl one of my favourite books that I used to read to my brother was We're going on a bear hunt. Actually to this day it is still one of my favourite books! I loved following the journey of the brave family who ventured out on an adventure of catching a bear. Now for those of you who haven't read the book here's how it begins:
We're going on a bear hunt.
We're going to catch a big one.
What a beautiful day!
We're not scared.
As they set off on their bear hunt the family face different obstacles:
Uh oh! Grass! Long wavy grass!
We can't go over it.
We can't go under it.
Oh no! We've got to go through it!
At each and every obstacle the family faces they overcome it by going through it. Now despite the fact that the book ends with all the family quivering under the bed covers after an encounter with a bear the point I'm trying to make is that this children's story very much sums up many journeys we have to face in life.
We set out and it's a beautiful day and we think we're going to be successful in 'catching' whatever it is we are searching for but then somewhere along we start to hit obstacles and are suddenly faced with a decision. Do we courageously carry straight on through it or do we turn around and walk away? Obstacles can often leave us feeling disheartened and many a time we think that perhaps this journey wasn't for us! Perhaps when we boldly said 'We're not scared!' we were wrong! We are scared and we should just turn around...No! We should not turn around!
Perhaps the ending of this children's story should have been a different one. Maybe the family should have caught the bear instead of cowering in fear under the bed covers. Then the message we would be sending out to our children would be one of courage. Fear and doubt are not from God 'For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline'. Fear comes from the enemy Satan, he aims to paralyse and stop us from moving in our God-given destiny. If you notice just when something big is going to happen in your life Satan pops up just to try and plant those seeds of doubt to get you to turn around. I've spent a lot of this year overcoming fear and I am overcoming it because I have put all my trust in God for the tomorrows.
So as we step out today and are faced with obstacles let's remember God is with us! Let's keep moving with God on our journeys and not get paralysed by fear!
We're going on a baby hunt.
We're going to catch a big one (Not too big! )
What a beautiful day!
We're not scared.
We're going on a bear hunt.
We're going to catch a big one.
What a beautiful day!
We're not scared.
As they set off on their bear hunt the family face different obstacles:
Uh oh! Grass! Long wavy grass!
We can't go over it.
We can't go under it.
Oh no! We've got to go through it!
At each and every obstacle the family faces they overcome it by going through it. Now despite the fact that the book ends with all the family quivering under the bed covers after an encounter with a bear the point I'm trying to make is that this children's story very much sums up many journeys we have to face in life.
We set out and it's a beautiful day and we think we're going to be successful in 'catching' whatever it is we are searching for but then somewhere along we start to hit obstacles and are suddenly faced with a decision. Do we courageously carry straight on through it or do we turn around and walk away? Obstacles can often leave us feeling disheartened and many a time we think that perhaps this journey wasn't for us! Perhaps when we boldly said 'We're not scared!' we were wrong! We are scared and we should just turn around...No! We should not turn around!
Perhaps the ending of this children's story should have been a different one. Maybe the family should have caught the bear instead of cowering in fear under the bed covers. Then the message we would be sending out to our children would be one of courage. Fear and doubt are not from God 'For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline'. Fear comes from the enemy Satan, he aims to paralyse and stop us from moving in our God-given destiny. If you notice just when something big is going to happen in your life Satan pops up just to try and plant those seeds of doubt to get you to turn around. I've spent a lot of this year overcoming fear and I am overcoming it because I have put all my trust in God for the tomorrows.
So as we step out today and are faced with obstacles let's remember God is with us! Let's keep moving with God on our journeys and not get paralysed by fear!
We're going on a baby hunt.
We're going to catch a big one (Not too big! )
What a beautiful day!
We're not scared.
Monday 22 September 2014
Down-regulation scan...
Today was our down-regulation scan at Nottingham. So off we went early this morning and arrived on time at CARE Fertility. Within minutes I was taken down for my scan and was happily told that my follicles are nice and small and my lining 1.5mm so my body is all ready for the next stage!
So we then signed our consent forms and were told to begin 150IU of Menopur tomorrow evening along with the Buserelin. Our next scan is booked for Monday 29th September at 10.00am. Time to grow my egg follicles!!
So we then signed our consent forms and were told to begin 150IU of Menopur tomorrow evening along with the Buserelin. Our next scan is booked for Monday 29th September at 10.00am. Time to grow my egg follicles!!
Saturday 13 September 2014
Period and scan...
Today my period finally arrived! So far I have done 13 injections of Buserelin and tonight is my 14th. So I rang CARE Fertility to book my down-regulation scan which is Monday 22nd September at 10.00am. Another week of Buserelin before I find out whether everything has switched off in there and is all ready to start growing the egg follicles!
Thursday 4 September 2014
There is a purpose for my pain...
I am doing really well at the moment! Tonight will be my fifth injection and other than feeling extremely tired (I was falling asleep by 9pm last night!) I haven't had many side-effects. Praise the Lord!
The hardest thing actually isn't the drugs or the procedures, its your own feelings and thoughts that are more of a struggle. IVF turned out to be a lot more painful than I ever thought and the memories of the past two cycles come flooding back...God has healed so much of the pain in my heart but the memories remain and it can be hard sometimes to look past them.
I always used to feel so broken after each cycle but it put me in a place where I was so close to God and much of my growing would happen in these times of brokenness. There was times when I sobbed my heart out on the floor asking God 'Why? Why didn't it work? Why do I have to go through it again?' Particularly after my second cycle a huge part of me didn't want to go through it again. I was so caught up in the pain and I actually remember crying out to God 'My heart is hurting'. I had already been through pain before when I was diagnosed with Huntington's but this hurt more. It hurt more because I was doing the IVF for good, it would have good consequences for the future of our family. Really though I had become weary, pain after pain seemed to have come into my life and I was tired of it. Tired of tears, tired of my heart hurting and this baby holds so much hope for me...
Then I stopped looking at it like God hadn't provided what I wanted and I began to realise how selfishly I had been thinking. I had forgotten how much God has already provided for us and how much He has already done for us. I had forgotten to be thankful for what I already have. I began to relinquish the desire in my heart for a baby to God. God is good and He knows every desire in my heart. He knows the pain I have been through. This has been a journey and a process and He has been using it for my good. This process has been growing me and changing me into the person He wants me to be so that I can reach the life He wants me to have.
I know though that there is a purpose to this pain! As Rick Warren said: 'Our deepest life message often comes out of our deepest pain'... There is blessing in this pain!
The hardest thing actually isn't the drugs or the procedures, its your own feelings and thoughts that are more of a struggle. IVF turned out to be a lot more painful than I ever thought and the memories of the past two cycles come flooding back...God has healed so much of the pain in my heart but the memories remain and it can be hard sometimes to look past them.
I always used to feel so broken after each cycle but it put me in a place where I was so close to God and much of my growing would happen in these times of brokenness. There was times when I sobbed my heart out on the floor asking God 'Why? Why didn't it work? Why do I have to go through it again?' Particularly after my second cycle a huge part of me didn't want to go through it again. I was so caught up in the pain and I actually remember crying out to God 'My heart is hurting'. I had already been through pain before when I was diagnosed with Huntington's but this hurt more. It hurt more because I was doing the IVF for good, it would have good consequences for the future of our family. Really though I had become weary, pain after pain seemed to have come into my life and I was tired of it. Tired of tears, tired of my heart hurting and this baby holds so much hope for me...
Then I stopped looking at it like God hadn't provided what I wanted and I began to realise how selfishly I had been thinking. I had forgotten how much God has already provided for us and how much He has already done for us. I had forgotten to be thankful for what I already have. I began to relinquish the desire in my heart for a baby to God. God is good and He knows every desire in my heart. He knows the pain I have been through. This has been a journey and a process and He has been using it for my good. This process has been growing me and changing me into the person He wants me to be so that I can reach the life He wants me to have.
I know though that there is a purpose to this pain! As Rick Warren said: 'Our deepest life message often comes out of our deepest pain'... There is blessing in this pain!
Monday 1 September 2014
First injection!
Last night I had my first injection of Buserelin! All went well apart from a little reddening of the skin around the injection site which wore off about 15 minutes later. This particular injection is administered with an insulin needle which is SO MUCH smaller than all the other injections I have ever had! So it is a lot easier and I didn't feel a thing.
As to the side-effects I haven't had any manifest as such yet but I can feel it working! The only thing is that I am feeling a little tired (which is a common side-effect). So I'm just taking it easy a bit as my body adjusts to this new drug!
As to the side-effects I haven't had any manifest as such yet but I can feel it working! The only thing is that I am feeling a little tired (which is a common side-effect). So I'm just taking it easy a bit as my body adjusts to this new drug!
Thursday 28 August 2014
3 days...
Well it is 3 days to go till I begin the Buserelin injections! I cannot quite get my head around the fact that it already begins this week! On one hand it feels as though we have had a 6 month break rather than 3 months but on the other hand it feels as though it has come round so fast!
So this is a rough outline of what the Buserelin will be doing. Firstly as I said I am now doing the long protocol instead of the short. This is something new to me so part of me will be nervous when I take Buserelin on Sunday night. This first stage of the cycle is called down-regulation. The Buserelin will be 'switching off' the ovaries this will stop everything from working. I will then have a scan at Nottingham to confirm down-regulation. Once this is confirmed I can start stimming with the Menopur (growing those little eggs!!)
So bring on Sunday! I am all prepared for menopausal-like side effects from the Buserelin (I feel sorry for Jay!) Lets get this cycle rolling!
So this is a rough outline of what the Buserelin will be doing. Firstly as I said I am now doing the long protocol instead of the short. This is something new to me so part of me will be nervous when I take Buserelin on Sunday night. This first stage of the cycle is called down-regulation. The Buserelin will be 'switching off' the ovaries this will stop everything from working. I will then have a scan at Nottingham to confirm down-regulation. Once this is confirmed I can start stimming with the Menopur (growing those little eggs!!)
So bring on Sunday! I am all prepared for menopausal-like side effects from the Buserelin (I feel sorry for Jay!) Lets get this cycle rolling!
Tuesday 26 August 2014
New beginnings...
I have just been reading back through my blog and smiling! The things that I wrote, the thoughts that I had have changed so much in just a year! I have been transformed through this journey!
It was put on my heart back in 2011, the very year I discovered the Huntington's disease that I wanted to be a mother. I couldn't tell you why I felt this! My plans had been very different to say the least! I was going to go to University and become a primary school teacher then I changed my plans again to become a midwife. 18 years old was the pinnacle time for me, I got engaged, I was doing my A-Levels with plans for a career, I discovered dark secrets that had been lurking in my family. It was as though a spotlight was thrown upon my life in 2011 and in a year my life which I thought to be so whole was obliterated. Yet as I look back at it now I see that it was making way for a new life!
I wrote this blog to document my journey through IVF/PGD but I have been on a greater journey since 2011. At the end of 2011 I first discovered God. The Huntington's disease, the IVF/PGD, the family issues have all been part of a bigger journey - my journey with God. And I am AMAZED at what He has done in our lives!!!
When I wanted to be a mother in 2011 I did not know about the HD. I did not know that I would be having IVF/PGD which to me was only something that couples who couldn't have children would do. That feeling that I had in my heart I know now was God. I wasn't a Christian at the time it was going on but I know God was calling me to my purpose because only months later did I find Him! It was all like a very confusing puzzle at the time and I kept being given random pieces of the puzzle which at the time didn't make any sense.
The title of this blog post is 'New beginnings', I felt something telling me to write that. In the 3 months break we have had since our second cycle of IVF much has happened.
It was put on my heart back in 2011, the very year I discovered the Huntington's disease that I wanted to be a mother. I couldn't tell you why I felt this! My plans had been very different to say the least! I was going to go to University and become a primary school teacher then I changed my plans again to become a midwife. 18 years old was the pinnacle time for me, I got engaged, I was doing my A-Levels with plans for a career, I discovered dark secrets that had been lurking in my family. It was as though a spotlight was thrown upon my life in 2011 and in a year my life which I thought to be so whole was obliterated. Yet as I look back at it now I see that it was making way for a new life!
I wrote this blog to document my journey through IVF/PGD but I have been on a greater journey since 2011. At the end of 2011 I first discovered God. The Huntington's disease, the IVF/PGD, the family issues have all been part of a bigger journey - my journey with God. And I am AMAZED at what He has done in our lives!!!
When I wanted to be a mother in 2011 I did not know about the HD. I did not know that I would be having IVF/PGD which to me was only something that couples who couldn't have children would do. That feeling that I had in my heart I know now was God. I wasn't a Christian at the time it was going on but I know God was calling me to my purpose because only months later did I find Him! It was all like a very confusing puzzle at the time and I kept being given random pieces of the puzzle which at the time didn't make any sense.
The title of this blog post is 'New beginnings', I felt something telling me to write that. In the 3 months break we have had since our second cycle of IVF much has happened.
The most significant and important of all is the new Church we are now at. One Saturday night Jay and I were talking about Church, we were due to go to Pitsford Church the next day for the Sunday service. Jay mentioned to me that he felt prompted to go back to the Kingdom Life Church. A year ago we had gone to a service at the Kingdom Life Church as I had been going to their healing rooms. It was certainly a wonderful experience and remained with us both afterwards but we still continued going to Pitsford Church (where we got married). Yet I didn't feel as though I was growing as a Christian and Jay wasn't feeling any closer in wanting to believe in God.
So two months ago we went back to the KLC (ironically at exactly the same time we went there last year) for a service and decided to settle there! I have been transformed at KLC and I know it is where God wants us to be.
2 weeks ago I went for some prophetic encouragement from this young man named Paul. He told me that he had a picture in his mind of me running a race and that I had overcome many obstacles. I was running hard now and nothing was in my path and I ran over the finish line...
I stood in shock before him as I knew that what he said was completely true. Paul didn't know anything about me and had never met me before. I couldn't have asked for better encouragement at such a time as this! With the beginning of a new IVF cycle this Sunday coming I keep in mind the finish line...
Thursday 5 June 2014
Review Appointment...
Today we went off to Nottingham again (very early, we were on the road by 7.45am!) for our review appointment with Dr Maruthini. We discussed this cycle that has failed and she said that her opinion of it all that it was just an unfortunate batch of embryos. There is nothing wrong with my eggs or Jay's sperm. Dr Maruthini has decided however that I will definitely be having the long protocol in the next cycle which is Buserelin and Menopur.
Then we were surprised with the news that because the second cycle did not get completed it is considered a fail cycle and does not count! Therefore we still have 2 cycles of treatment left!!!
Jay and I have decided that we are going to have 3 months break to give my body a chance to recover and also to work on our health a bit. We want to make sure that we are super fit and ready for the next cycle, so we are joining a gym and working on our diets. I've found lots of useful information about improving our fertility to give us an even better chance. This website in particular has been very helpful: http://natural-fertility-info.com/increase-egg-health
Then we were surprised with the news that because the second cycle did not get completed it is considered a fail cycle and does not count! Therefore we still have 2 cycles of treatment left!!!
Jay and I have decided that we are going to have 3 months break to give my body a chance to recover and also to work on our health a bit. We want to make sure that we are super fit and ready for the next cycle, so we are joining a gym and working on our diets. I've found lots of useful information about improving our fertility to give us an even better chance. This website in particular has been very helpful: http://natural-fertility-info.com/increase-egg-health
Sunday 1 June 2014
Unexpected news...
I had the phone call early this morning from the embryologist with the results of the test. 2 out of the 3 embryos are HD free but unfortunately neither of them had reached the stage of blastocyst so they could not be transferred. In other words none of those 3 embryos could be used for the embryo transfer.
However the other 7 embryos which could not be tested on Friday have still been slowly growing and some have turned into blastocyst when checked today. So there is still a possibility that they could be tested for Huntington's disease and be frozen if they come back HD free.
The embryologist will be ringing back in the morning with further news but I am hoping and praying that some will be okay to get tested...
However the other 7 embryos which could not be tested on Friday have still been slowly growing and some have turned into blastocyst when checked today. So there is still a possibility that they could be tested for Huntington's disease and be frozen if they come back HD free.
The embryologist will be ringing back in the morning with further news but I am hoping and praying that some will be okay to get tested...
Saturday 31 May 2014
Embryo results...
The results for the test on the embryos for Huntington's disease is tomorrow at 9.00am. Plans have been made for an embryo transfer which will follow the results at 11.30am at Nottingham. I have been given instructions for the embryo transfer, I must have a full bladder for the ultrasound and have to be at Nottingham for 11.00am...Now to wait until the morning...
Friday 30 May 2014
Biopsy...
Just had news from the embryologist and out of the 10 embryos only 3 could have the biopsy. Unfortunately the other 7 were not quite big enough to be tested. Test results will be Sunday and depending on the results the embryo transfer will be the same day. I can't really say how I am feeling right now. I am so grateful that we have got 3 biopsied compared to the 1 we had last time but I can't help but feel really sad as well. My faith is in the Lord...
Wednesday 28 May 2014
Egg collection and further news...
So just a quick blog to document the events of the past couple of days! Jason and I left at 7.00am yesterday to travel to Nottingham for the egg collection. We arrived at 8.20am and was soon after taken down to prepare for the procedure. I was told that my egg collection was to be done by Dr Mohammad. So clad in my hospital gown and clogs I walked down to theatre (feeling very hungry and thirsty as I had to be starved for 6 hours prior to the procedure). I was then introduced to the anesthetist and Dr Mohammad, a cannula was put in the back of my hand and next minute I was out!
I woke up in the recovery room feeling very drowsy and tired. Also I was in quite a lot of pain (not knowing at the time how many eggs had been collected). Jason was fetched from the waiting room and told me that I had been in theatre for over an hour! Eventually we got told by the nurse that 15 eggs had been collected!!! I now understood why I was in quite a lot of pain and had been gone for a long while. I ended up staying in recovery until 11.35am and went home with strict instructions to rest up.
Once I got home I put my PJs on immediately and stuck to eating toast and drinking water only for the rest of the day. I knew from my previous experience of the egg collection that there was a large possibility of being sick again. I got to 6.30pm and I was sick! I was sick 3 times in total (exactly the same as last time) and my stomach seemed to be purging itself of all the drugs. It is now strongly evident that my stomach cannot take the sedation drugs! I went to bed at 10.00pm completely exhausted and slept through the whole night.
When I woke up this morning I felt completely exhausted and my stomach still feels a bit precarious to say the least! I have only had toast, water and some crackers through the course of the morning. Apart from that I am not in any pain as such just feel a bit sore.
Then I had a phone call from the embryologist at CARE Fertility updating us with the news on the eggs! All 15 eggs were mature but 10 eggs fertilised, so we have lost 5 eggs so far but we have now got 10 embryos! Last time we had only 4 embryos at this point so we are very very very blessed!!! I don't think its even sunk in for me yet!
So over the course of the next few days we will have phone calls from the embryologist updating us on the progress of the embryos. Tomorrow I begin my Utrogestan pessaries to prepare for the embryo transfer (God willing). Then Friday the remaining embryos will have the biopsy to test for Huntington's disease. If there is to be an embryo transfer this will be on Sunday when we also will get the test results from the embryos.
So now we must wait... Thank you so much for all the support and prayers! Please continue to pray for us <3
I woke up in the recovery room feeling very drowsy and tired. Also I was in quite a lot of pain (not knowing at the time how many eggs had been collected). Jason was fetched from the waiting room and told me that I had been in theatre for over an hour! Eventually we got told by the nurse that 15 eggs had been collected!!! I now understood why I was in quite a lot of pain and had been gone for a long while. I ended up staying in recovery until 11.35am and went home with strict instructions to rest up.
Once I got home I put my PJs on immediately and stuck to eating toast and drinking water only for the rest of the day. I knew from my previous experience of the egg collection that there was a large possibility of being sick again. I got to 6.30pm and I was sick! I was sick 3 times in total (exactly the same as last time) and my stomach seemed to be purging itself of all the drugs. It is now strongly evident that my stomach cannot take the sedation drugs! I went to bed at 10.00pm completely exhausted and slept through the whole night.
When I woke up this morning I felt completely exhausted and my stomach still feels a bit precarious to say the least! I have only had toast, water and some crackers through the course of the morning. Apart from that I am not in any pain as such just feel a bit sore.
Then I had a phone call from the embryologist at CARE Fertility updating us with the news on the eggs! All 15 eggs were mature but 10 eggs fertilised, so we have lost 5 eggs so far but we have now got 10 embryos! Last time we had only 4 embryos at this point so we are very very very blessed!!! I don't think its even sunk in for me yet!
So over the course of the next few days we will have phone calls from the embryologist updating us on the progress of the embryos. Tomorrow I begin my Utrogestan pessaries to prepare for the embryo transfer (God willing). Then Friday the remaining embryos will have the biopsy to test for Huntington's disease. If there is to be an embryo transfer this will be on Sunday when we also will get the test results from the embryos.
So now we must wait... Thank you so much for all the support and prayers! Please continue to pray for us <3
Sunday 25 May 2014
HCG injection and Egg collection...
So I just had a phone call this morning from CARE Fertility and my final injection of Pregnyl has been scheduled for tonight at 9.00pm. The Pregnyl trigger injection is 10,000IU and will stimulate the final maturation of the eggs ready for collection.
Then my egg collection has been scheduled for Tuesday at 9.00am but we have to be at the clinic for 8.30am to prepare me for theatre. So now I have two days to get some rest in before the big egg collection. I don't even really feel nervous about the egg collection itself because this is my second time, I just keep thinking of the eggs. Please pray for me to have strength and thank you all for the great support you have given both Jason and I.
Then my egg collection has been scheduled for Tuesday at 9.00am but we have to be at the clinic for 8.30am to prepare me for theatre. So now I have two days to get some rest in before the big egg collection. I don't even really feel nervous about the egg collection itself because this is my second time, I just keep thinking of the eggs. Please pray for me to have strength and thank you all for the great support you have given both Jason and I.
Saturday 24 May 2014
Scan number four...
As we headed off in the pouring rain this morning to Nottingham I wondered is this the last scan?!! I am very happy to say it was!! I had my blood taken and scan revealed that the smallest egg follicle is 15mm and biggest 20mm. The nurse turned to me and said 'I think you are ready!'
So this afternoon I had a phone call from the nurse explaining that the doctor has requested that I have one more night of Menopur and Cetrotide but they are reducing the Menopur to 150IU (2 Vials) just to give the egg follicles that bit extra growing. Then I will have another phone call tomorrow to schedule my egg collection and when to take the HCG injection (my final injection) which matures the eggs and has to be taken 36 hours before the egg collection. My egg collection may well be on Tuesday but I don't know for definate yet, I will find out tomorrow! I am so blessed!
So this afternoon I had a phone call from the nurse explaining that the doctor has requested that I have one more night of Menopur and Cetrotide but they are reducing the Menopur to 150IU (2 Vials) just to give the egg follicles that bit extra growing. Then I will have another phone call tomorrow to schedule my egg collection and when to take the HCG injection (my final injection) which matures the eggs and has to be taken 36 hours before the egg collection. My egg collection may well be on Tuesday but I don't know for definate yet, I will find out tomorrow! I am so blessed!
Thursday 22 May 2014
Third Scan...
Today we went for our third scan at Nottingham. Both of us are now beginning to feel extremely tired and you get to this point where you just cannot wait for them to say time for egg collection! However my egg follicles are still not quite large enough yet my smallest is 10mm, others are between 14mm-16mm and I have two that are 17mm. We have another scan booked for Saturday at 10.00am. So another 2 nights of injections but at least we can have a good rest tomorrow at home before we go back to Nottingham again.
Wednesday 21 May 2014
Second Scan...
Today we went for our second scan at Nottingham! All went well, I had my blood taken and straight after had a scan. The scan revealed that we have quite a lot of egg follicles, more than on Monday. The largest is on my right ovary at 17.5mm and the smallest is 9mm, the others range from 9mm-16mm. So we are still not quite there yet, they need to be just that little bit bigger!
We had a phone call this afternoon from the nurse saying that we are to come in for our third scan tomorrow at 10.30am. I am so close to the egg collection so just gotta hang in there!!!
We had a phone call this afternoon from the nurse saying that we are to come in for our third scan tomorrow at 10.30am. I am so close to the egg collection so just gotta hang in there!!!
Monday 19 May 2014
First scan...
I am overwhelmed with joy!!!! Today we went for our first scan and was shocked to discover that after 7 days of injections my smallest egg follicle is 9mm and my largest is 12mm!!! I did not expect them to be so large already, we are both so happy!!! The egg follicles need to be 18mm so we are not that far off!
So another scan is booked for Wednesday at 10.30am and then we will know more! Feeling so blessed right now!
So another scan is booked for Wednesday at 10.30am and then we will know more! Feeling so blessed right now!
Monday 12 May 2014
Injections...
So tomorrow is the day I begin my Menopur injections! It has come around so fast that at the moment it doesn't even feel real. My first scan at Nottingham has been booked for next Monday at 10.30am where we will find out how the egg follicles are growing. I will hopefully be posting some videos of the injections. I really want to make sure I document everything this time and also help to create more awareness! Will keep you posted!
Sunday 4 May 2014
Friday 25 April 2014
It begins...
My drugs were delivered on Wednesday and today I took my first tablet of Norethisterone which I will be on for the next 14 days until 8th May. So there won't be much more to update until I start the injections :)
Wednesday 16 April 2014
Treatment Plan...
Just had a letter this morning from Dr Maruthini with our treatment plan for the second cycle. It has been decided that I will still do the short protocol again which will last for about 4 weeks. In many ways it does have its advantages as I will have less drugs to take and I am already completely familiar with all of the treatment as I have done it already. I will be started off with 225 IU as I have mentioned before that it seemed to be the best amount for me.
So I will be starting the second cycle of treatment with my next period which should be at the beginning of May! Can't believe how fast it has come around again!
So I will be starting the second cycle of treatment with my next period which should be at the beginning of May! Can't believe how fast it has come around again!
Sunday 23 March 2014
Letter from Dr Maruthini about our review appointment...
I thought I would just post this as it explains it better about how review appointment went and what the next plans are!
Tuesday 18 March 2014
Review Appointment...
Today we went for our review appointment at Nottingham! It was so lovely to see Dr Maruthini and to have a good chat about everything.
Dr Maruthini was very happy with how the first cycle of treatment went however it did take me quite a bit longer to stimulate than expected. So she has decided to change the plan for the 2nd cycle of treatment. During the first cycle of treatment I was on the Short Protocol which lasts for approximately 4 weeks. With the Short Protocol you only have the stimulation phase. However this time Dr Maruthini wants to try the Long Protocol which lasts approximately 6 weeks this has two stages the down-regulating stage and the stimulating stage. She hopes that in choosing this protocol I will produce more eggs, perhaps between 10-15, as I will be on the drugs longer. She has also said that she will be starting me off on 225IU of Menopur from the very beginning as that seemed to be the best amount for me.
Dr Maruthini was very confident that this second cycle will work out better simply because they know my body better now and what works best for me. So we then discussed when we are looking at starting the second cycle and it appears that May will be month! They have to apply for funding for our cycle within the next few weeks and once that is done they are all ready to go for us!
We are both very blessed to be on this journey and we thank God for all He has done for us!
Dr Maruthini was very happy with how the first cycle of treatment went however it did take me quite a bit longer to stimulate than expected. So she has decided to change the plan for the 2nd cycle of treatment. During the first cycle of treatment I was on the Short Protocol which lasts for approximately 4 weeks. With the Short Protocol you only have the stimulation phase. However this time Dr Maruthini wants to try the Long Protocol which lasts approximately 6 weeks this has two stages the down-regulating stage and the stimulating stage. She hopes that in choosing this protocol I will produce more eggs, perhaps between 10-15, as I will be on the drugs longer. She has also said that she will be starting me off on 225IU of Menopur from the very beginning as that seemed to be the best amount for me.
Dr Maruthini was very confident that this second cycle will work out better simply because they know my body better now and what works best for me. So we then discussed when we are looking at starting the second cycle and it appears that May will be month! They have to apply for funding for our cycle within the next few weeks and once that is done they are all ready to go for us!
We are both very blessed to be on this journey and we thank God for all He has done for us!
Tuesday 11 March 2014
Renewing Rest...
I cannot believe that it is only a week away till we go back to Nottingham again for our review appointment! This time next week we will be meeting with Dr Maruthini to discuss everything that happened in our first cycle and then we will see what we are going to do in our second cycle.
During the past couple of weeks I have been gradually getting myself back to normal. I felt extremely tired and weary after we lost the embryo but since then I have been taking extra care in looking after myself. Making sure that I am eating healthily, getting back to walking twice a day, getting enough sleep and building my strength back up. I am feeling a lot better already and have certainly needed this rest emotionally and physically...
I definitely did underestimate the impact that the IVF would have on our lives and it has opened my eyes up to how difficult it must be for women who desperately want children and can't or women that have lost their babies. Losing the embryo has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through even harder than testing positive for HD...
God has got me through this time and now I am ready for round 2! I am looking forward to the appointment next week so that we can really get an idea when we are looking at starting the second cycle!
During the past couple of weeks I have been gradually getting myself back to normal. I felt extremely tired and weary after we lost the embryo but since then I have been taking extra care in looking after myself. Making sure that I am eating healthily, getting back to walking twice a day, getting enough sleep and building my strength back up. I am feeling a lot better already and have certainly needed this rest emotionally and physically...
I definitely did underestimate the impact that the IVF would have on our lives and it has opened my eyes up to how difficult it must be for women who desperately want children and can't or women that have lost their babies. Losing the embryo has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through even harder than testing positive for HD...
God has got me through this time and now I am ready for round 2! I am looking forward to the appointment next week so that we can really get an idea when we are looking at starting the second cycle!
Monday 3 March 2014
Pregnancy Blood Test Results...
Today we had the pregnancy blood test results which confirmed Friday's test, it was negative. We already knew that it was negative for definate as over the weekend I have had a bleed. Therefore CARE Fertility have now allowed me to stop the pessaries.
CARE Fertility have booked me a review appointment with Dr Maruthini on 18th March to go through everything that happened in the first cycle of treatment and draw up a plan for the second cycle. It's then up to Jay and I when we want to begin the second cycle. Its obviously really important for us to have a break emotionally as well as physically for me... So I guess we will start when we both feel ready to again <3
CARE Fertility have booked me a review appointment with Dr Maruthini on 18th March to go through everything that happened in the first cycle of treatment and draw up a plan for the second cycle. It's then up to Jay and I when we want to begin the second cycle. Its obviously really important for us to have a break emotionally as well as physically for me... So I guess we will start when we both feel ready to again <3
Friday 28 February 2014
Negative...
Sadly today as we woke up to do the pregnancy test it came back as a definite negative. We used the Clearblue digital test as well as an ordinary pregnancy test. It seems that between Friday and now something obviously went wrong with the embryo, the most likely cause is a chemical pregnancy.
We rang up CARE Fertility and after speaking to the doctor he felt that it was necessary to have a pregnancy blood test just to be absolutely certain as I had had a positive. So I went to my doctors and have had a blood test however the results will not be given back today. If the results come back as negative (which they are likely too) we will stop all treatment and have a 2 month break before starting a second cycle of IVF treatment.
Will update as soon as I get the blood test results...
We rang up CARE Fertility and after speaking to the doctor he felt that it was necessary to have a pregnancy blood test just to be absolutely certain as I had had a positive. So I went to my doctors and have had a blood test however the results will not be given back today. If the results come back as negative (which they are likely too) we will stop all treatment and have a 2 month break before starting a second cycle of IVF treatment.
Will update as soon as I get the blood test results...
Tuesday 25 February 2014
Difficult times...
Today has been one of the most difficult days yet... I didn't write a blog about it but on Friday we did an early sneaky pregnancy test and we got a faint but visible line which meant that we were pregnant. I tried so hard to contain my excitement and struggled to calm myself down. Both of us were so happy and felt so blessed.
Today was the day for the pregnancy test from CARE Fertility and I felt surprisingly calm about it. We woke up at 6.00am and as we began to put the drops on the test I could feel my stomach whirling around and around. We turned away and didn't dare look until the 3 minutes had passed. Jay looked first but there was no happy reaction, I looked over his shoulder and to me there was only one line. I felt as though the whole world had come tumbling down on my head. I couldn't help but cry and nothing anyone said could console me.
However after a few minutes Jay then said 'Look there is another line but it is really faint'. I didn't dare believe it, you could barely see the line, not like the other test we did on Friday. Jay went out to buy another pregnancy test and the same thing happened. So I rang up CARE Fertility to explain everything. The nurse said that having a line there at all indicates a pregnancy but I can't understand why my line is fainter not stronger. She said that all we can do now is wait and do another test on Friday morning. I have not had any bleeding yet only a few cramps so all I can do is wait...
I did read however that it is quite common to have a chemical pregnancy which is a very early miscarriage. Some women test and get a positive pregnancy test and then have only negative ones as the HCG levels drop. It is usually followed by a period like bleed so I just have to wait and see...
I don't quite know how I feel at the moment. One minute I feel as though I am bearing up and that I will get through this, next I feel so empty and weary and the tears begin again. Seeing Jay's face this morning was really hard, he looked so full of despair and was so eager to try and comfort me. I know it must be even harder for him and that he must feel completely helpless.
You never feel quite the same again after all this. It has certainly changed me, this tiny embryo to me has been like a little person and the thought of having lost it makes me feel sick... I know that God has been with us throughout all this journey and is still with us now. Even though I am despairing today I still do have a small amount of hope left for tomorrow and the next day... I trust in God and submit it all to Him...
I thank you all again for your prayers and support and please do continue to pray for us <3
Today was the day for the pregnancy test from CARE Fertility and I felt surprisingly calm about it. We woke up at 6.00am and as we began to put the drops on the test I could feel my stomach whirling around and around. We turned away and didn't dare look until the 3 minutes had passed. Jay looked first but there was no happy reaction, I looked over his shoulder and to me there was only one line. I felt as though the whole world had come tumbling down on my head. I couldn't help but cry and nothing anyone said could console me.
However after a few minutes Jay then said 'Look there is another line but it is really faint'. I didn't dare believe it, you could barely see the line, not like the other test we did on Friday. Jay went out to buy another pregnancy test and the same thing happened. So I rang up CARE Fertility to explain everything. The nurse said that having a line there at all indicates a pregnancy but I can't understand why my line is fainter not stronger. She said that all we can do now is wait and do another test on Friday morning. I have not had any bleeding yet only a few cramps so all I can do is wait...
I did read however that it is quite common to have a chemical pregnancy which is a very early miscarriage. Some women test and get a positive pregnancy test and then have only negative ones as the HCG levels drop. It is usually followed by a period like bleed so I just have to wait and see...
I don't quite know how I feel at the moment. One minute I feel as though I am bearing up and that I will get through this, next I feel so empty and weary and the tears begin again. Seeing Jay's face this morning was really hard, he looked so full of despair and was so eager to try and comfort me. I know it must be even harder for him and that he must feel completely helpless.
You never feel quite the same again after all this. It has certainly changed me, this tiny embryo to me has been like a little person and the thought of having lost it makes me feel sick... I know that God has been with us throughout all this journey and is still with us now. Even though I am despairing today I still do have a small amount of hope left for tomorrow and the next day... I trust in God and submit it all to Him...
I thank you all again for your prayers and support and please do continue to pray for us <3
Monday 24 February 2014
Waiting...
Tomorrow is the day for our pregnancy test! It has been a long 2 weeks and there has been times that I have felt so weary of waiting but God has been my rock and reminded me of all the blessings I already have... Jay has been so supportive and full of patience and together we have muddled our way through these 2 weeks.
I have so many butterflies fluttering around my stomach at the moment and I have no idea how I am going to sleep tonight!
I want to thank all the people who have supported us and thank you for all your prayers <3 Please continue to pray for us tonight and for our little embryo <3
I have so many butterflies fluttering around my stomach at the moment and I have no idea how I am going to sleep tonight!
I want to thank all the people who have supported us and thank you for all your prayers <3 Please continue to pray for us tonight and for our little embryo <3
Psalm 130:5-6"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning"...
Wednesday 12 February 2014
Embryo Transfer...
This afternoon we arrived at Nottingham for the embryo transfer! We had a little bit of a wait as there was another person in front of us. I had to put a gown on and Jay even got to wear some scrubs in a nice pink colour! I was taken down to theatre and was introduced to all the team. The embryologist came over to explain how the embryo was and even gave us a photo of our little egg!
The procedure was a little more difficult than I expected! Unfortunately the catheter inserted into me got stuck in the kink in my cervix (which apparently is very prominent) so the nurse had a bit of a struggle and it ended up being quite painful. However eventually she got past that bit and suddenly we watched on the ultrasound screen our little egg float out of the catheter. It feels strange to think that that little egg is inside me now...
After the procedure we were given our own pregnancy test kit and were told that we are going to test on Tuesday 25th February! 13 days to wait... How very blessed we both are <3
The procedure was a little more difficult than I expected! Unfortunately the catheter inserted into me got stuck in the kink in my cervix (which apparently is very prominent) so the nurse had a bit of a struggle and it ended up being quite painful. However eventually she got past that bit and suddenly we watched on the ultrasound screen our little egg float out of the catheter. It feels strange to think that that little egg is inside me now...
After the procedure we were given our own pregnancy test kit and were told that we are going to test on Tuesday 25th February! 13 days to wait... How very blessed we both are <3
WE HAVE FANTASTIC NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our little egg is HD free!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for all the prayers and support! The Lord has blessed us with this beautiful little egg <3
Off to my embryo transfer now!!!
Monday 10 February 2014
Biopsy...
Just had a phone call this morning from the embryologist and there is only one embryo left now... Only one could have a biopsy taken from it...One embryo, one chance 50/50...Oh please Lord let it be free from HD...Please pray and pray and pray and pray for our one little embryo...Please lift up your voices in prayer...
Sunday 9 February 2014
Feeling better and had some good news!
Today I am feeling much better! I had a good full night's sleep last night and my mum and Jay have been looking after me all weekend. I have gradually built up eating some food during the day and have taken a very short but steady walk to get some fresh air.
We also had a phone call today from the embryologist who has told us that both the 2 embryos have grown and that they are grade 2 which apparently is a really good thing! Tomorrow we will have another phone call around lunchtime to let us know how the embryos grown overnight and also whether the biopsy was performed (which they are hoping will be). So tomorrow is the big day for these little eggs- Will they have the Huntington's gene or not? I am praying and trusting in the Lord. We have already come on a long journey from May last year and every second of it has been worth it (even when I was feeling terrible haha!)
I also want to thank everyone who has been so supportive to us. The love that people have given us has been overwhelming and all these people have been with us every step of our journey. How blessed we are to be surrounded by such warm-hearted and loving people <3
We also had a phone call today from the embryologist who has told us that both the 2 embryos have grown and that they are grade 2 which apparently is a really good thing! Tomorrow we will have another phone call around lunchtime to let us know how the embryos grown overnight and also whether the biopsy was performed (which they are hoping will be). So tomorrow is the big day for these little eggs- Will they have the Huntington's gene or not? I am praying and trusting in the Lord. We have already come on a long journey from May last year and every second of it has been worth it (even when I was feeling terrible haha!)
I also want to thank everyone who has been so supportive to us. The love that people have given us has been overwhelming and all these people have been with us every step of our journey. How blessed we are to be surrounded by such warm-hearted and loving people <3
Saturday 8 February 2014
Please pray for us...
Post egg collection has not been great! Looks like I spoke far too soon yesterday as at 8.30pm last night I was sick. I slept until 2.00am in the morning and woke up and was sick again 3 more times. It was a really difficult night and this morning I am completely worn out... I am still feeling really strange this morning and will not be eating much today only drinking water. I rang up CARE Fertility and it may well be due to all the drugs I had yesterday.
We then had a phone call a little while after this from the embryologist. Out of the 6 eggs only 4 were mature enough to be fertilised and out of the 4 only 2 fertilised. I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed with myself as that now reduces the chances of whether one or both of those eggs will have HD. We will have another update tomorrow morning on how the eggs are growing and on Monday they will be tested for HD.
Really struggling at the moment and in a low state of mind...Please pray for those 2 eggs..Pray they grow strong and big and most importantly please pray for one to be free from HD...
I keep trusting in God and know that all this is not for nothing...everything happens for reason...
We then had a phone call a little while after this from the embryologist. Out of the 6 eggs only 4 were mature enough to be fertilised and out of the 4 only 2 fertilised. I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed with myself as that now reduces the chances of whether one or both of those eggs will have HD. We will have another update tomorrow morning on how the eggs are growing and on Monday they will be tested for HD.
Really struggling at the moment and in a low state of mind...Please pray for those 2 eggs..Pray they grow strong and big and most importantly please pray for one to be free from HD...
I keep trusting in God and know that all this is not for nothing...everything happens for reason...
Friday 7 February 2014
Egg Collection...
Today was the day of my egg collection!!! Yesterday Jay and I travelled up to Nottingham to stay in a hotel overnight as I had to be at CARE Fertility for 7.30am. We arrived at CARE at 7.20am and nervously took our seats in the empty waiting room. At nearly 8.00am we were called into a ward area in the clinic and were given a room in which I had to get changed and put a hospital gown on and lots of questions were asked before they proceeded. Jay was sent off to do his sperm sample while I was taken down to theatre.
An anesthetist inserted a cannula into the back of my hand and although I was only being sedated, next thing I knew I was fast asleep! I was woke up by a nurse who was taking my blood pressure. I had totally slept throughout the whole thing! Jay was called to the room and I was left to rest for a while until the nurse felt happy for me to get up and get changed.
We then had a visit from the embryologist who explained what is going to happen next. 6 eggs were collected which is a good number (I wish it had been more but we did well) and those eggs will be fertilised this afternoon. We will get regular updates every day on how the eggs are doing but then the big thing is on day 3 when the eggs which are grown enough will be tested for Huntington's disease...Now is the wait... I feel more nervous about this part than any other...
An anesthetist inserted a cannula into the back of my hand and although I was only being sedated, next thing I knew I was fast asleep! I was woke up by a nurse who was taking my blood pressure. I had totally slept throughout the whole thing! Jay was called to the room and I was left to rest for a while until the nurse felt happy for me to get up and get changed.
We then had a visit from the embryologist who explained what is going to happen next. 6 eggs were collected which is a good number (I wish it had been more but we did well) and those eggs will be fertilised this afternoon. We will get regular updates every day on how the eggs are doing but then the big thing is on day 3 when the eggs which are grown enough will be tested for Huntington's disease...Now is the wait... I feel more nervous about this part than any other...
Tuesday 4 February 2014
Scan number six and REALLY GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!
Today we went for scan number six and finally we had the news we wanted to hear! :) My egg follicles are looking much better sizes now and my biggest one is 25.5mm. So the clinic has decided that I will have one more night of Menopur and Cetrotide just to grow them a little bit bigger and then tomorrow I will have my Pregnyl trigger injection which will stimulate the final maturation of the egg. On Friday I will have my egg collection!!! So all those eggs that I have been growing in the past 2 weeks are going to be collected up to be fertilised with Jay's sperm sample (which he will give on Friday). So now we are both going to get some rest ready for Friday!
Monday 3 February 2014
Scan number five...
Today we arrived at Nottingham for scan number five! Today is Day 14 so I have been stimulating for 2 weeks! Had high hopes for today but as the nurse reeled off the sizes of my follicles at my scan I knew that we hadn't finished yet. I had a 24mm, 18mm, 15mm, 13mm but the others were only 9 or 10mms.
So after my scan, the nurse had been to talk to Dr Maruthini, and she explained that we needed to do another night of Menopur and Cetrotide injections and another scan tomorrow. Everything will depend on tomorrow's scan...
Scan is booked for tomorrow morning at 9.30am. Both of us are starting to feel really really weary and tired now... Please keep us in your prayers <3
So after my scan, the nurse had been to talk to Dr Maruthini, and she explained that we needed to do another night of Menopur and Cetrotide injections and another scan tomorrow. Everything will depend on tomorrow's scan...
Scan is booked for tomorrow morning at 9.30am. Both of us are starting to feel really really weary and tired now... Please keep us in your prayers <3
Saturday 1 February 2014
Fourth Scan...
Today we finally got to our fourth scan! We left extremely early this morning and arrived at Nottingham at 9.20am safely!
We had a little bit of a wait as there was quite a lot of couples in the waiting room today but the main thing was that we were there. At 10.30am they called me for a scan, egg follicles are growing nicely but still not quite there yet. One of my follicles is at 19mm and on average the follicles need to be 18mm for egg collection so I am nearly there! Then I had my blood taken and was given another prescription for Menopur to collect at the Pharmacy.
This afternoon I had my usual phone call to explain the results from my scan. They still would like me to continue the Menopur and Cetrotide tonight and tomorrow night and then I have another scan booked for Monday at 10.30am.
We had a little bit of a wait as there was quite a lot of couples in the waiting room today but the main thing was that we were there. At 10.30am they called me for a scan, egg follicles are growing nicely but still not quite there yet. One of my follicles is at 19mm and on average the follicles need to be 18mm for egg collection so I am nearly there! Then I had my blood taken and was given another prescription for Menopur to collect at the Pharmacy.
This afternoon I had my usual phone call to explain the results from my scan. They still would like me to continue the Menopur and Cetrotide tonight and tomorrow night and then I have another scan booked for Monday at 10.30am.
Friday 31 January 2014
Car crash, car broke down and no medication....
Today has been the most horrific day we have ever experienced... As we got in the car this morning to drive to Nottingham for our fourth scan both of us were feeling extremely weary however we knew this could be the last scan so we pushed ourselves just that little bit more.
Just before we were due to enter Spratton there is an extremely sharp corner (where many accidents have occurred) which Jay took a little bit too fast, we crashed into the barrier and the car also slipped on mud. It was a lucky escape as it is a very dangerous corner and we were even more lucky that no cars were coming on the other side of the road. Neither of us were hurt but it badly shook us up, it happened so fast...
So we rang my mum and we went home immediately as we didn't know what damage was done to the car. When we got home the car appeared to be unscathed, just a lot of the paint work scratched off on my side where it hit the barrier and a small dent. It was decided that mum would drive us to Nottingham instead until Jay could get the car checked out properly. We all got in mum's car and was at a roundabout that leads to the M1 when disaster struck again! Suddenly mum couldn't change gear and the car appeared to be stuck right on a very busy roundabout! She finally managed to get the car to a safe place on a grass verge and then we rang up the breakdown cover but we all couldn't believe that mum's car had broke down!!!
An hour and a half later the breakdown recovery man arrived and said that the clutch had gone on mum's car and he was going to tow it to a garage. In the meantime we had been frantically trying to get hold of CARE Fertility and let them know that we couldn't get to Nottingham today. So they said I could come in for my scan tomorrow however we had a problem...I had run out of Menopur! I had no medication left as on Wednesday the clinic had only given me enough till Friday. The clinic said that we may well have to buy the Menopur (which as you know is very expensive!)
Luckily the breakdown man ended up driving through our village in order to take mum's car to the garage so Jay and I got out and walked home. As soon as we got in we rang up CARE Fertility and was told that we had to ring round as many pharmacies as we could and find out if they had any Menopur. In the meantime Mary (our nurse) had rang CARE Fertility in Northampton and they had refused to help!!! Jay and I got on the phone and guess what?! No pharmacies in Northampton stocked Menopur. Our day just got even worse. If I didn't take the Menopur tonight then the whole IVF treatment would be all over...
Finally we had some good news Mary rang back and said that CARE Fertility in Northampton would provide us with the 3 ampoules of Menopur that we needed. Jay and I risked taking the car out (to see how it ran as well) and drove to CARE Fertility Northampton to pick up the Menopur. So we now have the Menopur to take tonight and we still have to go to Nottingham tomorrow morning for my scan. The car appears to be fine and Jay has checked it over several times. The only thing we can do is leave super early in the morning to give plenty of time to get to Nottingham. Worst day ever!!!!!!!!
Just before we were due to enter Spratton there is an extremely sharp corner (where many accidents have occurred) which Jay took a little bit too fast, we crashed into the barrier and the car also slipped on mud. It was a lucky escape as it is a very dangerous corner and we were even more lucky that no cars were coming on the other side of the road. Neither of us were hurt but it badly shook us up, it happened so fast...
So we rang my mum and we went home immediately as we didn't know what damage was done to the car. When we got home the car appeared to be unscathed, just a lot of the paint work scratched off on my side where it hit the barrier and a small dent. It was decided that mum would drive us to Nottingham instead until Jay could get the car checked out properly. We all got in mum's car and was at a roundabout that leads to the M1 when disaster struck again! Suddenly mum couldn't change gear and the car appeared to be stuck right on a very busy roundabout! She finally managed to get the car to a safe place on a grass verge and then we rang up the breakdown cover but we all couldn't believe that mum's car had broke down!!!
An hour and a half later the breakdown recovery man arrived and said that the clutch had gone on mum's car and he was going to tow it to a garage. In the meantime we had been frantically trying to get hold of CARE Fertility and let them know that we couldn't get to Nottingham today. So they said I could come in for my scan tomorrow however we had a problem...I had run out of Menopur! I had no medication left as on Wednesday the clinic had only given me enough till Friday. The clinic said that we may well have to buy the Menopur (which as you know is very expensive!)
Luckily the breakdown man ended up driving through our village in order to take mum's car to the garage so Jay and I got out and walked home. As soon as we got in we rang up CARE Fertility and was told that we had to ring round as many pharmacies as we could and find out if they had any Menopur. In the meantime Mary (our nurse) had rang CARE Fertility in Northampton and they had refused to help!!! Jay and I got on the phone and guess what?! No pharmacies in Northampton stocked Menopur. Our day just got even worse. If I didn't take the Menopur tonight then the whole IVF treatment would be all over...
Finally we had some good news Mary rang back and said that CARE Fertility in Northampton would provide us with the 3 ampoules of Menopur that we needed. Jay and I risked taking the car out (to see how it ran as well) and drove to CARE Fertility Northampton to pick up the Menopur. So we now have the Menopur to take tonight and we still have to go to Nottingham tomorrow morning for my scan. The car appears to be fine and Jay has checked it over several times. The only thing we can do is leave super early in the morning to give plenty of time to get to Nottingham. Worst day ever!!!!!!!!
Wednesday 29 January 2014
Third Scan...
Today we went for our third scan at Nottingham. Happily I didn't need a blood test just a scan. Sizes of follicles are slowly increasing but not quite there yet. We had however ran out of Menopur yesterday so the nurse wrote us a prescription for 6 more ampoules of Menopur. We were then told to go to the Pharmacy round the corner to collect the medicine.
So as we were leaving the clinic Jay pulled his glasses out of his pocket and they snapped almost in half!! I burst out laughing as it was typical that this should occur right before Jay needed to drive home on the M1! So we drove to the Pharmacy and there was a Wilkinsons right next door and Jay decided to go and buy some superglue while I was waiting in the Pharmacy! As I picked up my Menopur I was shocked to see that the total cost was £108.20 (of course we were not paying that as we are on the NHS) for only 6 ampoules! It certainly made me feel even more lucky that we have been given this opportunity.
Jay did superglue his glasses back together (I have no idea how he did it!) and we got back on the M1 home. Both of us are starting to feel a little weary now with the continuous trips back and forth to Nottingham but I keep telling myself that it is all so worth it in the end. We then had a phone call in the afternoon from the nurse saying that we have another scan booked for Friday at 10.30am and my medication is staying the same. I intend to have a good rest tomorrow and hopefully I will feel a bit stronger then!
So as we were leaving the clinic Jay pulled his glasses out of his pocket and they snapped almost in half!! I burst out laughing as it was typical that this should occur right before Jay needed to drive home on the M1! So we drove to the Pharmacy and there was a Wilkinsons right next door and Jay decided to go and buy some superglue while I was waiting in the Pharmacy! As I picked up my Menopur I was shocked to see that the total cost was £108.20 (of course we were not paying that as we are on the NHS) for only 6 ampoules! It certainly made me feel even more lucky that we have been given this opportunity.
Jay did superglue his glasses back together (I have no idea how he did it!) and we got back on the M1 home. Both of us are starting to feel a little weary now with the continuous trips back and forth to Nottingham but I keep telling myself that it is all so worth it in the end. We then had a phone call in the afternoon from the nurse saying that we have another scan booked for Friday at 10.30am and my medication is staying the same. I intend to have a good rest tomorrow and hopefully I will feel a bit stronger then!
Monday 27 January 2014
Cetrotide, A&E and a second scan...
Well it has been an eventful weekend to say the least! I will rewind back to Saturday evening and my first injection of Cetrotide. It got to 7.00pm and we did the Menopur injection first of 150IU. All was going well so we moved onto the Cetrotide injection, we were told by the clinic to inject on the same side as the Menopur and no mention was made about how long a gap should be left between both injections so we did it immediately. The Cetrotide needle was quite a lot bigger than the Menopur and as Jay gave me the injection it was quite painful. A few minutes later quite a large red itchy rash came out around the injection site. Apart from that we had no other problems and I assumed everything had gone well.
So I was watching TV and relaxing when about an hour and a half later sudden cramps occurred in my stomach and I began to feel hot. I went up to the toilet and had terrible diarrhea (please excuse the graphic detail haha!) I felt nauseous, light-headed and did not feel right at all. Jay tried to ring up Nottingham clinic but the line was dead. My initial worry was that I had Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome as the symptoms matched. We couldn't get hold of anyone at the clinic and we didn't know what to do! I didn't know how to treat myself so the only option was to go to A&E. We had already rang up the emergency 111 number and they suggested that we go to A&E. By this time it was about 11.00pm so mum, Jay and I piled into the car down to the hospital. Luckily it was quite empty in there and I got seen fairly quickly by a nurse, they gave me some Codeine for pain relief and put us in a room. We then had to wait for a doctor to see me, he came eventually at gone midnight, a young Chinese man. He was very understanding however he didn't seem to know anything about Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome or IVF in general.
2 hours later, I had given a urine sample which came back normal and had been left in the room with Jay and mum to be monitored. I also had a lucky escape from what could have been a difficult blood test! A Jamaican woman come in to take my blood and took one look at my arm, then turned it over, looked at me and said 'You have no veins!' She seemed really reluctant to take my blood and luckily was relieved from her task by the arrival of the other nurse who said that the doctor didn't need my blood anymore. Finally we were discharged not knowing anymore than when we came in, however the pain relief had helped me a lot.
We slept most of Sunday but around 1.00pm we rang up Nottingham clinic to try and find out what to do. Eventually we got hold of someone who explained that the phone line had gone down due to the storm we had in the day. Dr. Maruthini rang us back half an hour later and I explained everything that had happened. She then told me that it was definitely not OHSS as my blood test had come back with normal hormone levels. There were several things that could have possibly caused the diarrhea and stomach pains such as a virus (pure coincidence that it occurred on the first day of my Cetrotide) or in a very rare case I may well have had a reaction to it. Therefore Dr. Maruthini wanted me to try the Cetrotide again on Sunday evening, she set up that Karen (nurse) was to ring me to check it went well and if I had a bad reaction go straight to A&E. The evening came and Jay did both injections. It seemed even better this time as I had no reaction occur at the injection site. Karen rang and said that it most probably was a rare case of me reacting to it.
So today we went for our second scan at Nottingham. I had another blood test and the scan went very well. We had a phone call later on to let us know that our next scan is Wednesday at 10.30am and my Menopur is now being increased to 225IU. Just about to have my injections for this evening...
So I was watching TV and relaxing when about an hour and a half later sudden cramps occurred in my stomach and I began to feel hot. I went up to the toilet and had terrible diarrhea (please excuse the graphic detail haha!) I felt nauseous, light-headed and did not feel right at all. Jay tried to ring up Nottingham clinic but the line was dead. My initial worry was that I had Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome as the symptoms matched. We couldn't get hold of anyone at the clinic and we didn't know what to do! I didn't know how to treat myself so the only option was to go to A&E. We had already rang up the emergency 111 number and they suggested that we go to A&E. By this time it was about 11.00pm so mum, Jay and I piled into the car down to the hospital. Luckily it was quite empty in there and I got seen fairly quickly by a nurse, they gave me some Codeine for pain relief and put us in a room. We then had to wait for a doctor to see me, he came eventually at gone midnight, a young Chinese man. He was very understanding however he didn't seem to know anything about Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome or IVF in general.
2 hours later, I had given a urine sample which came back normal and had been left in the room with Jay and mum to be monitored. I also had a lucky escape from what could have been a difficult blood test! A Jamaican woman come in to take my blood and took one look at my arm, then turned it over, looked at me and said 'You have no veins!' She seemed really reluctant to take my blood and luckily was relieved from her task by the arrival of the other nurse who said that the doctor didn't need my blood anymore. Finally we were discharged not knowing anymore than when we came in, however the pain relief had helped me a lot.
We slept most of Sunday but around 1.00pm we rang up Nottingham clinic to try and find out what to do. Eventually we got hold of someone who explained that the phone line had gone down due to the storm we had in the day. Dr. Maruthini rang us back half an hour later and I explained everything that had happened. She then told me that it was definitely not OHSS as my blood test had come back with normal hormone levels. There were several things that could have possibly caused the diarrhea and stomach pains such as a virus (pure coincidence that it occurred on the first day of my Cetrotide) or in a very rare case I may well have had a reaction to it. Therefore Dr. Maruthini wanted me to try the Cetrotide again on Sunday evening, she set up that Karen (nurse) was to ring me to check it went well and if I had a bad reaction go straight to A&E. The evening came and Jay did both injections. It seemed even better this time as I had no reaction occur at the injection site. Karen rang and said that it most probably was a rare case of me reacting to it.
So today we went for our second scan at Nottingham. I had another blood test and the scan went very well. We had a phone call later on to let us know that our next scan is Wednesday at 10.30am and my Menopur is now being increased to 225IU. Just about to have my injections for this evening...
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