Numb...

I have awoken this morning to a new feeling or rather I should say no feeling at all - numbness. I feel as though my whole mind has switched off to any emotions of pain or sadness. It feels like I have swallowed toxic venom which has disabled all my senses. 

My body feels heavy and my mind feels languid. I'm only capable of thinking of light things such as 'What do I want for breakfast?', if anything deeper attempts to penetrate my mind it becomes blank. No more tears could be cried. 

Is this the beginning of healing? I do believe it is. My mind has been exposed to such pain that it has almost fallen into a deep coma. Just as when a person has a physical injury to their brain and the doctor will medically induce a coma in order to heal the wound. My mind rests in a sweet slumber devoid of any pain, sadness or hurt. I've been through the tumult of shock, denial, pain, guilt, anger and bargaining over these 4 days... Now I feel nothing...

Grief is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced and it seems to be a recurring theme in my life. I've been thrown into the dark deep pit of grief many times and it is not easy getting back out again. Yet my mind is becoming more resilient to it and I find it a much swifter walk through the valley of grief...